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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,326
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,326 |
Floyd.... I don't have any suggestions right off the top of my head for a rewrite of the lyric on this. To rewrite a song can be a major project, since it may alter the song in other ways....at least it does on many of my rewrites.
One thing that I struggle with in my writing is the rhymes. as in, making them good, unique, and not predictable or boring. To me, the perfect rhyme is one that fits like a natural BUT, you didn't see it coming until you're right on it.
We all know that there needs to be rhymes in certain places.... although more and more I'm seeing exceptions to this "hard and fast rule" rise to the top of the country charts. So when I'm looking for rhymes I am seeking more often, to use unpredictable rhymes.
It's when the rhymes are too predictable that the song ventures into the corny or sappy side of things. I did not mean to infer that your writing was not good, heck that's a great country song idea and you wrote about it well.
When I do a rewrite of things in my songs I tend to use the rhyme points as the basis for the changes. This often means rewriting at least 2 complete lines especially if I change the rhyme completely. Often I find that to be the only way to "break the pattern".
There are times when I can find a new and unique rhyme for the first or second half of a given rhyme pair, that fits perfectly and completes the idea as well without sounding like it was the proverbial square peg hammered into the round hole.
Some writers use rhyming dictionaries to find words, and while I have several, I use a program called MasterWriter which I purchased many years ago. It allows me to type the word I think I want to use and rhyme, and it shows in some cases over 40 pages of words that rhyme, as well as many pages of phrases that rhyme. (the path of least resistance) Many of the phrases are cliche's and of course, you want to avoid those like the plague as well, but often something there will spark an idea that takes me to a new direction for the line I'm looking.
I often "print" a rough version of a song to MP3 and listen to it repeatedly. By doing this, the corny, boring, trite, poorly written parts will stick out to me and I let my subconscious work on that problem for a few days. When I set down to write or rewrite, sometimes the new, better part comes easy and sometimes I have to dig it out with my bare fingernails.... each time is different in some aspect. If I'm writing with someone else, I will send a note telling them I don't like such and such line(s) and lets write something new in that place. Another person's POV, when focused on one trouble spot will get a totally new thought process happening.
So... without actually digging in to do a rewrite, this is as close as I can come at this point, by telling you what I look for and to some extent, how I write and then do rewrites.
It's a zen thing.... in the moment....one of those things as you know that you often just have to be there to experience.... just one of the joys of being a songwriter.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
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User Video: Next-Level AI Music Editing with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
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