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also, I wanted to say that the character hides the pain he's in when he walks, but I didn't want to use the word pain - even though it fits the rhyme scheme : )


this comment you made to Josie made me go back and re-read your lyrics (specifically the line "An iron gait I feign")

I had originally thought you meant "iron GATE" via typo, but to use this phrase as a description of somebody's walk (gait) is extremely clever... especially the use of an adjective (iron) that works perfectly with either word (gate or gait)

Now that I understand that you are talking about pretending to walk with strength and confidence when in fact the character's walk is full of pain, that line has transitioned in my mind from being borderline questionable to being my favorite line in the whole song.