Originally Posted By: MarioD
Originally Posted By: Danny C.
Originally Posted By: Blorg
Hi Pete,

Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.

One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears.


+1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric.

Just an observation.

Later,


I agree. I really like the lyrics, chord progression and mix but it does sound like you are forcing the vocals. I suspect that you are trying to emphasize the pain one goes through when faced with this situation. Unfortunately I think you may have over done it. However this is just my opinion and other may not agree.

Again I really liked the song.


Mario D / Danny C / Blorg

I agree with you the vocal is okay at best and as I wrote the song I didn't visualize it as a song I would perform - I was trying to write to that hip hop / alt country groove and with an emotional tone. So I'll be happy to try to incorporate your suggestions in the next incarnations.

Pete Gallatin
http://www.reverbnation.com/patiopete