Hi ROG,



Wow that's good! To my ears, it sounded Country Rock/Pop'ish. Every time I hear something formulated on 12-bar blues, it's always very clear to me why the song form has stood the test of time. It's such a great format!

What stood out to me first of all was that you used the traditional 12-bar blues format for your lyrics. That is,

Quote:
Line 1
Repeat line 1 (maybe with slight variation but not necessarily)
Line 2 that rhymes with line 1

In your case, if I present the lyrics in this format they translate as ...

You know you make me smile, Babe you know you do
Well, you make me smile, Babe you know you do
And you know that it's true, Would I lie to you?


The above is sometimes regarded as a simple lyric format. I disagree. It takes great writing skill to get what amounts to two lines of lyrics resonating with meaning.

Using this lyric technique was a masterstroke. Also, to end the section with a question. How cool is that! As Pat Pattison regularly says, a change in grammatical form of a lyric (e.g. from statements to question) usually empowers the lyric. That was certainly true for me with these lyrics.

For what it's worth, if you ever decide to shorten the introduction but want to maintain the song's length, you could easily repeat Verse 1 as the final verse. To my way of thinking, framing the lyrics with verse 1 at start and end would make the final verse 1 lyrically powerful. It's also a technique sometimes used in traditional blues.

Anyway ... the above is just a bit of idle chit-chat. What I really, really want to compliment you on is the songwriting, the arrangement and the production. I cannot believe that you played so many instruments and put it all together so professionally. When most of us in this forum are relying on Realtracks and Realdrums, you are using playing skills, musicianship and experience. I'm blown away by how talented you are.

Lastly, Jessie and you sounded fantastic! I greatly admire her ability. Moreover, it continues to grow and grow.

In a word ... AWESOME

Best regards,
Noel

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2024