Hi Rob and Anne-Marie,

This is a really beautiful song. No-one on this forum can work those minor modes as skillfully as you do. It's always a pleasure to listen to your compositions.

Because you asked for comments ...

One thing that got caused me to ponder a bit, after I listened, was the use of the two different points of view in the lyrics. This is unusual. For some of the song, the point of view is first-person narrative (using pronouns I/me/my/mine and she/her/hers and they/them/theirs. The perspective then changes to third-person narrative (using pronouns he/him/his and she/her/hers and they/them/theirs).

I found myself wondering whether or not you'd tried the lyrics with a consistent point of view. To my ears, first-person narrative throughout is very strong (that his replace he/him/his with I/me/my/mine). Maybe that's just me, though.

If you're interested, below is how the lyrics read when they are consistently first-person narrative and consistently third-person narrative (just in case you're interested).

Quote:
FIRST-PERSON NARRATIVE
oh it's true that old habits die hard
don't put 'm on the playlist, delete 'm up front
I once had the girl in my arms
looking mighty fine, sure made me shine

silent warnings, whispering my name
wrong behavior covering up her pain

soon I became another man
flying in the night, trying to make things right
sure leaving some broken hearts behind
knowing fully why, they were not my kind

Striking silent whispering her name
knowing darn well, she came and left my life

I once had a girl she was leaving
me far behind, to the other side
still working my way back to her
and my frame of mind, that left me blind

silent warnings whispering my name
wrong behavior to cover up her pain
living silent all the games we played
knowing darn well she came and left that day

She left that day


THIRD-PERSON NARRATIVE
oh it's true that old habits die hard
don't put 'm on the playlist, delete 'm up front
he once had the girl in his arms
looking mighty fine, sure made him shine

silent warnings, whispering his name
wrong behavior covering up her pain

soon he became another man
flying in the night, trying to make things right
sure leaving some broken hearts behind
knowing fully why, they were not his kind

Striking silent whispering her name
knowing darn well, she came and left his life

he once had a girl she was leaving
him far behind, to the other side
still working his way back to her
and his frame of mind, that left him blind

silent warnings whispering his name
wrong behavior to cover up her pain
living silent all the games they played
knowing darn well she came and left that day

She left that day



The above are just my thoughts. Please feel completely free to throw them in the trash can (or rubbish tin as we say in Australia).

There's no changing the fact that you both write and perform absolutely stunning music!

All the best,
Noel

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2024