Floyd: Thanks for listening and commenting in detail as you did. Lots of good points in your observations. I was aware of the cliche's and the issue you mentioned with "her presence" in verses 2 & 3. I could go into a discussion of what I was thinking but that doesn't matter since it was 30 years ago. The only thing that really matters is what a new listener, such as yourself, "hears" in the words of the song. Clearly, there are issues that could stand some resolution and perhaps I will work on a rewrite of this to be a bit more coherent and consistent in the story line of the song. I have this in for some "professional" ears to critique so it will be interesting to see how "they" hear this tune. I will let you know what "they" say when I hear back from "them". (I may just PM you if this song is down the page a bit at that point)

Rewriting it is something I will certainly consider. Back when I wrote this, I was not rewriting any of the stuff I wrote, so this version essentially amounts to the first draft version of the song. Thanks again for the in depth look into the lyrics.

One more thing: I did in fact consider putting a slapback on the lead vox. I have it on the BGV but they are kinda low and it's not audible. If I record this again after I consider the rewrite of the lyrics, I may experiment with the vox slapback fx a bit.

Josie: Thanks.... it was a quick recording on the vocals..... so I didn't really spend much time on them....maybe that's what I need to do on all my tunes.... slam those vox into the track and let it roll.

Last edited by Guitarhacker; 08/24/14 05:39 AM.
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