Hi floyd,

If I were Pat Marr, I'd say …

Quote:
Dang, Floyd! Just DANG!

With everything you write, it seems that you use 24 carat gold to gild each and every aspect of your work. When I read through the comments of your songs, it seems that we all agree. You're a one-man, top-notch songwriting and music production team!

When I listened to “Perfect Night” many moons ago, I was very impressed with how you managed to convey sarcasm and irony through the lyrics. That's talent. I know that if I tried to use sarcasm, I'd end up falling in a heap – just like I do whenever I try to use it in the real world!

Back at that first listen, I also noticed that you used a lyric-writing principle that Steve Seskin once made me aware of. In a nutshell, what I'll call 'Steve's Principle' is that the lyrics of a verse or bridge work well when they target one aspect of the chorus.

For example, in your chorus for “Perfect Night”, there are a number of possible targets that could be used. These are ...

  • way that i feel
  • heartache
  • heartache that will never heal
  • rain fall on my face
  • tears i've cried
  • if a man's gonna break down
  • ain't this a perfect night


When I look at the verses to “Perfect Night” from the perspective of Steve's Principle, I see that verse 1 targets the last four lines of the chorus. By the end of the first chorus, it's very clear to the listener that the song's character is stuck with a broken down car on the side of the road in foul weather. Because of the first four lines of the chorus, though, the lyric line, “If ever a man's gonna break down”, becomes a double entendre and refers mostly to the guys physical situation but also hints at his emotional situation. Now THAT'S mighty fine lyric crafting.

Still using Steve's Principle, verse 2 targets the “Carrying around a heartache” aspect of the chorus. Because of this, and because of the setting up done by verse 1, the bells of metaphor chime loud and clear throughout this second song system that consists of verse 2 plus the chorus. The concept of “break down” moves from the physical and plunges headlong into the emotional.

Pondering the above, it makes me wonder what aspect of the chorus you'd target if you wrote a bridge!

What a terrific musical and lyrical journey you've put together with “Perfect Night”.

All the best,
Noel

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