Originally Posted By: dcuny
Really well done (as usual). There are some great lines in there, such as:

you knew it was coming, and it was such a surprise
you keep wondering how much of the past year was lies

But - and I say this with some hesitation - the song felt like it missed the mark.

The verses - excellent.

The chorus... a great lyric, but I think that was my problem.

One thing that seems to be missing is a strong, melodic chorus - the kind that sticks in the ear. After listening to the song several times, I remember the lyrics and story, but not the melody. And for me, it's the chorus that brings me back to a song.

The other thing was that "You'll never fall in love again" seemed disconnected from the verse. Obviously, it makes sense, but it's up to the listener to guess why this might be. Is it because she doesn't want to let someone hurt her again, or because she believes that it's all been a lie? Is she angry at all men, or just herself for being a fool?

I guess I'm a lazy listener, and I want something that connects the dots, such as:

you look out the window at nothing and swear that
those good times gone had aren't worth worth all this pain
so, you'll never fall in love again

I assume you'll be taking this critique with a huge grain of salt, especially since it's coming from someone who hasn't got the songwriting chops that you do. laugh



I agree with this assessment. The chorus was lacking that certain something. The song felt incomplete and unfinished as a result... perhaps a better way to say it is "unsatisfying" in a musical sense. It didn't go where I hoped it would as I was listening.

Aside from that...everything else is up to your usual high standards of excellence.

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Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
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