Alyn,

This is really beautiful. Nobody writes outside the oft-spoken-about box like you. The way you have used rhymes verses lack-of-rhymes to drive the flow of these lyrics is outstanding.

I've been listening to a number of songs from Korean melodramas lately. My reason for doing this is that (a) I like much of the music and (b) I don't speak Korean so all I can do is listen for rhyming patterns in consonants and vowels. This seems to be helping me understand the effect rhyme a bit more. Some Korean songwriters, like you, often have a tug of war between rhyming and not rhyming. It's very effective.

Have a listen to the chorus at the below link (0:56)...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMWvZ3dExhA

As I hear the above chorus, and in the broad sense, there's an AAXBBX rhyme pattern. Even though the chorus ends without rhyming, it's very effective. That being said, there is an internal rhyme in the last line of the chorus that does use the final vowel sound. (It's the kind of internal pattern that floyd sometimes employs and it works well.)

But I digress...

I've just had another listen to your song smile It's still excellent.

All the best,
Noel

P.S. Apologies for taking so long to comment on this. I haven't been active in the forum for a little while.

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2024