Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Noel,

Loved this! Solid write. Start to finish.

"Red and orange ripples on the ocean
The scent of frangipani rides the breeze"

Great opening! (I did have to look up frangipani...)

The chorus is terrific. The cadence of this:

"Every night I close my eyes
And with all my soul I hope and pray
That some day God will help me fly beyond the sea"

... is outstanding. Folks often neglect how important the cadence of a lyric/melody combination is to creating a good (well-written) song. This is truly top-notch in that regard! The 2nd time it came around, I could not help but break out in a big smile...

The arrangement/instrumentation and mix are excellent - no surprise there. Your vocal is wonderful - in the pocket.

I thoroughly enjoyed this! Terrific.

floyd


Thanks floyd! I appreciate your comments.

I played around with the "Every night I close my eyes..." section quite a bit before it settled into what it now is. It has taken me a heck of a long time to develop an ear for how the sounds of words fit together.... a decade or more in fact! I've also discovered that it's sometimes necessary to close my mind to the meaning of words and just listen to how they fit together sound-wise. Learning to write lyrics has been a long and interesting journey for me. I'm just grateful that you discovered these forums because your songs have been a huge part of my journey.

Strange about 'frangipani'. I had a look in Wikipedia after reading your comment and discovered that the flower has a heap of different names. Live and learn!

Thanks again!
Noel

MY SONGS...
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