Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Tom,

There are certain type songs that very few people are good at writing.
This - the "patriotic", "remembering the veterans", "fallen hero" type - is a classic example of that. They typically turn out to be "typical" - what I call "cliché writing" (which generally gets confused by most as meaning "writing with clichés" - which is not the same thing at all). They have typical scenarios and an all too typical ending that the writers feel is "the clever ending". Predictable, unimaginative.

THIS is anything but typical. This is a lesson in how it SHOULD be done.
Small pieces of gut-wrenching real-life written down, set to rhythm and rhyme.

You are astounding me with your writing.

Examples?...

"A husband and a father left a wife and newborn son"
Right off the bat, this states the tragedy without pulling punches and without being sappy and/or maudlin.

"When they carved his name in marble that's the least they could have done"
There is SO much packed into this one line. The use of "carved in marble" instead of referencing "The Wall", "the least they could have done" saying what might have taken others an entire verse to get across...


"Seems like it was such a waste we even lost the war
The truth is that we never knew what we were fighting for"
So succinct. Truth laid out clear and simple.

"I walked up to his fathers house one Sunday afternoon
A flag waved from Memorial Day as May turned into June"
A loving picture of remembrance - without getting over-dramatic..

"I just could not bring myself to knock upon his door
And look into those eyes that had been wounded by the war"
This ripped my heart out. That is true talent.


"Found his name behind my own reflection in the wall"
WOW. The use of behind your own reflection is brilliant...


"Nowadays I struggle with my place in all of this"
Great line.
"A friend of mine reduced to just a name upon a list"
Great, great line.
"I could put this all behind me but I ain't goin there yet"
Great line.
"the least that I can do is promise never to forget"
Great, great line.
All four lines here are writing at the highest level.


I'm not even going to talk about how perfect the production, mix and vocal are.

Wow.

floyd
I'm speechless, humbled, and grateful for such uplifting comments. Thanks floyd! Tom
Originally Posted By: Al-David
Hi,

As a disabled Vietnam Vet, I appreciate your kind words about us. And thanks for remembering all the Vets.

I refrained from going to the wall for man y years. I left Vietnam in 1967. Didn't go see the wall until 1998. It was very emotional, but glad I finally went.

Loved the song. That acoustic lead is simply beautiful ... still smiling! Your lyric captured the essence of the moment. But what I enjoyed most is that your lyric was neither patronizing or cheesy like so many songs about Vietnam are. A simple but beautiful arrangement and so nicely performed. If I weren't in this hospital bed, I'd get up and salute you.

Great stuff, Tom!

Al
Alan, Thank you for your service and the wonderful comments. I hope you continue to feel better. Tom
Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
"found his name behind my own reflection in the wall."

There's more in that line than in many complete writes. Janice teared up when she first heard the song. I couldn't get it off my mind. My best high school buddy was killed in a raid into Cambodia. It took years and years for his family to get his name on the wall -- because we weren't supposed to be in Cambodia. The damn absurdity of it all.

As floyd said it is easy for this type of song to drift into the mundane. You took it in the complete opposite direction and made it, IMO, far and away the best I've ever heard of this, if you will, subgenre. As Janice literally just said, "It's a powerful song and he sings the hell out of it." She said it all.

Bud

Bud, Your choice of words sums up a complex situation perfectly. Absurdity! Thank you both, Tom