I really love this. Huge potential. With some revisions I think this is profoundly pitchable. This could just be me, but I think anyone you pitched this to (or was listening) would say "How come you didn't mention 1 and 2? I think you could do something with one like "one day and we were done" and 2 "three kisses and we were through" or something like that, then go onto 3. After that I don't think you need to count, but I do think adding in 1 and 2 would zip this up. Again, that is just me, but overall this is extremely clever and I think you may really have a commercial song here with just a couple of tweaks. Go and listen to Elvis Costello, Every Day I write the Book...that's what this reminds me of...


1st Verse:
C#m E
Chapter one, we didn't really get along, Chapter two, I think I
G#m E A B C#m
fell in love with you. you said you'd stand by me in the
F#m
middle of Chapter three, but you were up to your old tricks in Chapters
G#m B
four, five, and six, and?

(chorus)
E G#m A B E G#m
I'm giving you a long look ev'ryday, ev'ryday,
A B E G#m
ev'ryday, ev'ryday I write the book.
A

B

smile

Great song idea man! I am jealous!!!!

David Snyder
Songwriter/Renaissance Man
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