David,
Sweet lyric and wonderful melody but the "accent" of the voice doesn't work on many levels - not least that it limits your range.
Now, I know Joe Cocker had a hit with his strained vocals in You Are So Beautiful, To Me, but, honestly, I initially though this song was a satire.
As a demo, for most folk, it would serve its purpose pretty well but for a writer & performer of your calibre
Some parts in the bass track didn't work too well for me either.
As noted: sweet lyric and a wonderful melody.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe