Stick with it, the beats loop is good, and the talking intro sample(s) are great!

Don't slur your vocals trying to sound like someone you're not. Listen to Kraftwerk's 'The Model', the English version, and the German accent is a major part of the record's charm, the same in Nina's '99 Red Balloons'. There's nothing wrong with singing in your natural accent - it could well be a hook as in those records!

John


Songs web site
YouTube Channel
BIAB 2019
Cakewalk by BandLab
Studio One 4