And, speaking of subways while striving to keep this light...

It was two AM and Michael O'Reilly had just closed Murphy's Pub and was unsteadily wending his way to the underground escalator when suddenly confronted by a huge sign: "Dogs must be carried on the escalator! ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS!"

Michael bemoaned: "And just where, pray tell, is a bloke t'be findin' a dog at this unholy hour?"