When the Morning Comes - a song born out of the translitic process



(Originally sketched out Dec 2017)

I used BIAB to sketch out this song. In this mix, I've kept the bass (but used Melodyne to convert to midi & then made a 2nd bass track using Trillian), piano, drums (but used ToonTracks superior drums to convert them to Midi), cello 1, cello 2, and guitar. I've recorded an additional guitar track using my Strat. I also did some surgery on the cello tracks and recorded my Bridge electric cello for more melodic parts. And, of course, I added my voice and harmonica. I’m not a harmonica player, so . . . well, I did my best, given my limited experience.

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Here is the BIAB realtracks info:

_CELLOW2.STY Dual Cello Waltz - sw8 ¾ D 85

Bass - 1121 Bass, Acoustic, CountryWaltz 085
Piano - 831 Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment Pop BouncyWaltz Sw 085
Drums - RealDrums=NashvilleWaltzSw^2-a Sidestick, Hhat, b:Snare, Ride
Cello1 - 2557:Cello, Background SlowWaltz Sw 085
Cello2 - 2557:Cello, Background SlowWaltz Sw 085
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I exported the audio and then imported into Studio One 4. I added various plugins and occasionally manually manipulated some of the audio tracks. I recorded the vocal with a Perlman mic.

This is still a rough sketch of the song. I hope to get back to it and revise the lyrics, remix it, etc. I’d appreciate any and all (especially actionable) feedback that I could use when I rewrite and re-record this song. I’m particularly interested in feedback about the harmonica. Keep it? Leave it out? Mix it differently?

The lyrics were born out of the translitic process, which begins with a foreign language poem. (I’ve spoken a bit about this process in the body of this previous post: https://www.pgmusic.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=600505#Post600505)


LYRICS
I wrote 7 drafts, and this is my current set of lyrics:

Draft 7

Well the night she has fallen--she's down on her knees.
Like the moon drunk and calling, I'm calling to sea.
Oh, sweet west wind wash me--my hands are caked and stained.
Won't you lay down beside me; love, I need your pain.

And you know it's going to be alright,
And you know it's going to be alright,
And you know it's going to be alright,
When the morning comes.

Oh there's a fierce god below us with a fire on his tongue.
When my mouth's pressed hard to you, I sing his praise from my lungs.
Let us dance, let us die, with our backs young and straight.
Turn the stern eye away, lay your loss near the gate.

And you know it's going to be alright,
And you know it's going to be alright,
And you know it's going to be alright,
When the morning comes.

Well I wake and I watch the dust sweep over my shoes.
In the first vulgar light, I search the sheets for your ruins.
Oh, the curse of these rations--a brush twined with hair.
I'm like a bird deep in flight . . . that gets lost to the air.

But you know it's going to be alright,
Yes, you know it's going to be alright,
Oh, I know it's going to be alright,
When morning comes.

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