Originally Posted By: dcuny
The song packs an emotional punch - both lyrically, melodically and vocally.

You've got the skill to pull it off, so it's all top flight.

I like the obliqueness of the lyric. In the balance between "poetic" and "song", the strong meter and rhymes lean it away from sounding like poetry set to music, and more on the musical poetry side.

The guitar intro was a bit off-putting for me, but that's only because I didn't know where the song was going. On further hearing, it made sense.

The ending seemed a bit abrupt. I can imagine adding an instrumental tag, like an outro on a pennywhistle or something.

Really, really well done.


Hey, David. Thanks so much for your kind and helpful comments. I'm glad you like the lyrics. It's hard to tell how others will respond to them. Sometimes they are too fragmented or obscure. I think I tend to focus more on sound and image than meaning. Glad it doesn't sound like poetry set to music.

Thanks for letting me know about the intro. I had been feeling that way about it. I'll definitely consider doing something different with it or adding more of that kind of guitar throughout the song.

Yeah, the ending was definitely abrupt. I kind of ran out of steam there and needed a quick way to finish the song. I'll be sure to go back in and add an instrumental tag or something. I like your idea of a pennywhistle outro. ;-)

Thanks again! Cheers, Todd

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