"...come and join me."
Of the intro section the upward emphasis/question tonality of that line, even when repeated, doesn't fit.
It comes across as insincere/bad acting to my ears - and being from the country that gave the world neighbours et al, I've heard a lot of it.
Apart from that I really liked the piece and wanted it to go longer, go somewhere else on its journey.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe