Hi Noel, Will and Phil,

Thanks for your so nice comments on this song. Sorry for the delay in answering them. Lots of things have caused this.


Originally Posted By: Noel96
Hi Hans,

I really, really like this.

Your arrangement is spectacular. The beginning acoustic sound leading into a full rock band is perfect. It's easy to see the effect of this arrangement in the shape of the waveform on Soundcloud. The wave's amplitude is smaller at the start and progressively gets larger and larger as intensity increases because the arrangement develops. This overall "megaphone" shape is not something I've ever seen before on Soundcloud.

The standout for me was how you structured your verses. It was very, very effective. That is...

(1) "word-1," repeat "word-1" with more information
(2) add more meaning to the previous line (1)
(3) "word-2," repeat "word-2" with more information
(4) add extra meaning to line (3) and rhyme with line (2)

This structure strategy is a brilliant way to add emotional development to lyrics. You captured my imagination with it. I'm going to have to try my hand as creating some lyrics using this approach!

Quote:
In the meantime, here's my variation of "Mary Had A Little Lamb" using your approach...

Mary, such a happy girl is Mary
And everywhere she walks her lamb's behind her
Snowflakes, with fleece as white as snowflakes
That lamb will wander near and far to find her


I'm heading back for another listen now!

All the best,
Noel

P.S.Thanks so much for the lessons in arranging and lyric writing. I sincerely appreciate them. That was the proverbial "icing on the cake" for me.


Hi Noel that was some post! I didn't know my song caused this all. Of course I'm very pleased to read all it did.
I hope to continue these 'lessons' in lyric writing. For me it doesn't feel like doing something special. I like writing, thinking about words and their (possible) meanings. But it's always a challenge to write them in correct English or (better) plain English. And rhyming too! Your example with Mary and her lamb is a very nice one.
I loved that last line of yours...

Originally Posted By: Will Josef
Hi Hans,

What a great "tactful" track... smile
As always your vocal performance is very good and the production is spot on! I think you did a nice job with melodyne and with the track in general.

Thanks a lot for sharing,
Will


Hi Will, I'm very pleased with your comment! I thought Melodyne had no more secrets for me, but in a new song it totally messed up and I had to do the background vocals myself. So, ups and downs with that piece of software.

Originally Posted By: Phil Leith
I like it.

Last song I published here, like a year ago was a bit of a protest song on the same topic. It kind of helps when you don't get TOO explicit, though we both dropped single keyword hints ... it makes it more likely that a listener will get sucked in and start relating it to their own point of view, and then when that word hits ... they actually have to stop and reassess their worldview if it's not in line with yours. All in the privacy of their own heads, which is the best place to do it :-)

And if it is in line with yours, well they're going to like it anyway.

Nice job.


Hello Phil, Thanks man! Yes, protest songs are always some challenge. Some like it, some don't. I made a couple of songs on Trump some time ago. I realized there are people who want you to mind your own business and others that enjoyed them. Well, isn't that always the case? And if they like the lyrics, of course they have their own images the relate too. But that doesn't mean you can't make that kind of songs. As long as you can sound sincere, a little humorous, at least not sour! ( I think...)

So thanks everyone and have a very nice day,
Hans

Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130