Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
Quote:
He died during his 73rd year, when I was 39, after telling me on his deathbed that I was an embarrassment to him, that he was disappointed in what I had become, and that he was ashamed to admit that I was his son.


I've been trying to think of what to say to this since you've posted it. I'm in Wisconsin. It gets cold enough here that people go fishing on the ice. I'm sure you already knew that. But, do you recognize and ice hole when you see one? I do. The truth in what he said wasn't about you. It was about himself.

Quote:
That was the last thing he said to me. I have been carrying that around for 31 years now, and I think about that every day. It will never go away. That man that I revered, that man who shaped me and who by example instilled into me my strong work ethic, died disappointed in me.


You don't truly instill someone with great work ethic. You can try, but it just doesn't work that way. Ultimately it is their own choice. Disappointed in you? Heads up, there was NO WAY you would please someone like that. Man, he FAILED YOU as a father. You may feel the need to defend him or say some great attributes about him; but nothing excuses any of this. He didn't expose any short comings you have. He made all of his glaringly obvious to anyone not in the situation.

Sorry you went through that...or are still living with it.

I hope this doesn't come across wrong. I don't mean it as a "who needs a hug?" kind of way. I mean it as a "F him!" kind of way.

I'm no doctor, but I played doctor with the girl next door... a lot, and I agree 100% with what Caaron is saying here...
Eddie, get some professional therapy and lose that poisonous baggage... Life is too short, and "this ain't no trial run".
(sorry Mr. Mad-Duh-Sn, I couldn't hep-ma-self)

Little More Time

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