Originally Posted By: Dewey_MI
Great concept and unique angle to the hook, Ray!
If you want this to be more commercially accepted, you may consider chopping a measure at the end of each verse line. This would take out the space and, of course, decrease the song length. Commercial songs are moving to 3 to 3:30 minutes these days.
BYW, love the cello

Thanks Dewey,
I'm not adverse to commercial acceptance but I don't court, expect or consider it.
I will try your suggestion about the length of the progression under the phrases.
I placed space around this vocal in this one because I usually fill up all available time with words.
I've noted that many, many songs that hold the attention of users of the main streaming platforms are often 2mins + and def. less than 3.
The BIAB cello is usually very good. I have high expectations for the part coming.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe