Critter since you asked me,

This is a good first effort imho. It's sounds like you're going for a haunting effect with the reverb on the chorus. I'm always a sucker for "oh, baby" with pretty harmonies. But I agree with Daisy on the reverb. You might want to back it off the lead vox just a little bit but keep it on the harmonies there. Greg gave you some good suggestions.

If you're going for a club mix that's one thing but otherwise 5:16 is way too long. The instrumental bridge is right at a min - too long. We used to turn some cover songs into marathons on some nights - grin - but in a listening - not dancing and drinking live club situation - you run the risk of losing your listener's attention with it that long.

You'll get more feedback on the lyrics if you want it by copying and pasting them in when you post a link to your song. (Most of us do good to remember our own. LOL.)

If you're into songwriting, and you haven't already read it, the best book to start with is 6 Steps To Songwriting Success by Jason Blume. You can pick up a used copy on ebay or Amazon cheap.

Hope that helps. Keep at it!

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