It's a very sad song. It's amazing that you could write such lyrics at such a young age. The vocals, piano and bass are all wonderful. Enjoyed my listen a lot.
They say third time is the charm. If you like this, your third version, there may be some truth to that old saying. I agree with you that you've done really superb lyrics for the song. As always, the write, performance, and production are top notch. Enjoyed number three.
Floyd, wow, killer song. Super arrangement, great playing on piano/bass, and tasteful accents by BiaB. Crazy good vocals. Can fully understand hanging on to this song for so long, it's something special.
I don't expect that BiaB will soon be able to provide a piano part as delicate and nuanced as what you are playing here. Would love to be wrong, BUT...there are some things perhaps best left to the humans.
GREAT song!.
Ron - thanks for the nice comments. I appreciate the mention of piano - and bass. And those BIAB accents are important - simple and essential. Much appreciated.
Originally Posted by Al-David
Floyd,
What a wonderful lyric. And your vocals are always impeccable. There's so much feeling and emotion in this one.
The piano and bass are simply stellar. The simplicity of the backing tracks says so much with so little effort.
Terrific song and performance. A true gem.
Did you have a particular female vocalist in mind when you wrote this? She's a little later on the country music scene than the time in which you wrote this, but I could hear Jennifer Nettles just tearing this one up.
But, ya know, anything Floyd Jane sings is wonderful, regardless of gendered lyric.
Best to you and yours,
Alan
Thanks a bunch, Alan. It was Prine's "Angel From Montgomery" that gave me the "courage" to write and sing a song from a female perspective. Bonnie Raitt did a heck of a version (as did others), but I always preferred hearing John sing it. Jennifer is an amazing singer. I think Ashley McBride could easily do this. I'd love to hear Mirranda Lambert do it - she makes songs "her own"...
Those things will never happen. I'm happy to have a version that came out the way I envisioned...
Originally Posted by TuneMonger
I agree, Floyd, this is special. Your singing on it cuts right through my heart. Truly sublime.
Number 3 has the magic. Your piano skills have risen in a short time to nothing less than remarkable. I always liked the lyrics and you’ve done a fine job bringing them to life. Your vocals and production are always impressive. Tom
Such a great write, man, if I could write something half this good I would be a happy guy!
I've heard at least one version of this one before I think, good songs stick with you.
Your piano sounds perfect from start to finish, and your vocal is as good as it gets.
Appreciate all of that, Dave...
Originally Posted by camog
Floyd - beautiful lyrics and song, the sparse arrangement fits perfectly. The timing & phrasing are impeccable - your voice so unique and like none other, a really classy mix too. Well worth the re-do even after 45 years - majestic job!!
Best wishes, Carl
Thanks, Carl. Glad you stopped by....
Originally Posted by B.D.Thomas
I remember when you asked for those RealTracks (sparse, with few chords and some arpeggios, and I added my vote of course), and you do the same thing I do, you just play those piano parts yourself, and you do it REALLY well. The piano track alone sells the song for me already. The heartbreaking outro Not only one of your best lyrics, but your vocals themselves are fantastic and dripping with emotion. Amazing song! Pitch this song to a well known artist (like John Legend or Adele) and it'll chart high and long!
Thanks, B.D. I appreciate the mention of the piano. If you run into John or A. - share the link so they will know where to find it....
Sadest song I have heard for a long time, but so beautiful and so true. Specially I liked, that you trusted to your story and vocals and let the backing just to piano and bass and was there some cello as well, but anyway they let the listener to listen to the story and just underlined the mood. Thank you. If this song would have been produced by some big recording company, I bet they would have spoiled it with to much production.
Hey this is a very cool, plaintive song and the piano is nice, really adds a beautiful flavor.
Fits somewhere between Billy Joel and Tom Waits for me. Really liked it.
Someday I would like to smoke a carton of Lucky Strikes and ask permission to cover this.
Adele?
Uh, no.
Closing Time.
Straight up. With an empty bottle of rye on the piano, recently consumed. The stench of cigarette smoke lingering. Pasties and a g-string nearby. And yes I have a drinking problem. I'm all out of alcohol.
The piano's been drinking not me.
😆
David Snyder Songwriter/Renaissance Man Studio + Fingers
This line portrays her hopelessness so well: "LIfe’s just a b-movie with no back door”
Your piano is wonderful - as Janice said, the nuances in your playing are like your vocal phrasing that so perfectly match the lyric sentiment. Your well chosen sparse bass lines are very supportive.
No more parsing out …simply stated it’s a top bar production by any measure.
Most enjoyable!
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
WOW ~!! and I mean that sincerely. That is one of the songs you pull off the road to turn up on your car radio to listen to. That is Grammy level lyrics, a Kacy Musgraves would win song of the year with.
Great songwriting is a Movie Script told in 3 minutes, and you certainly did that with this one.
Oh, I would definitely caution anyone who passes on this becaue they've heard it before. They haven't. That piano is strong and perfect and so well recorded. Yeah, you still have the best vocal anyone could hope to have on record, and write the best lyrics that folks of any kind could relate to, but now you add more outstanding layers of talent. I love how you present this with this stripped down backing. Very moving, Floyd.
Marty - thanks so much for the notes on the piano. And all those other very nice words!
Originally Posted by laurent4114
A beautiful song carried by a great voice. When we sing for those who have nothing but who are not nothing. Laurent
Thanks, Laurent (that's a good line. If it is yours and you haven't written that song, you should)
Originally Posted by MarioD
Floyd, real life in a song - brilliant The lyrics are some of if not the best you have ever written. Super piano - I had to DL some emotional piano MIDI loops to get some songwriters piano. Outstanding work - loved it.
"they say to set your sights on the highest star that's just to keep you from seeing where you really are"
... wow.
Perfect arrangement, your voice sounding at its very best, lyrics to cry at ... easily one of your very, very best.
You are that rare beast ... a singer-songwriter with something to say, who knows how to say it. Keep 'em coming ... I'm certainly listening to that which you have to say. Listening and in awe at what I hear.
Such nice things you say, James. Thank you.
Originally Posted by WaoBand
Very sad but excellent lyrics. The minimal instrumentation in this song really works for it. I've not heard it before.
Thanks, Chay.
Originally Posted by vicarn
Well well, Floyd! Wonderful lyric and masterfully arranged. Well performed and well done on learning the piano.
"I wrote this song 45 years ago. I still consider it one of the best lyrics I've written." I can see why you would...this is a lyrical masterpiece IMHO...love the passion and the angst...the piano you used was very realistic...only took me forty years to learn to play almost that good...sooooo \good!
I very much appreciate these comments, Dan.
Originally Posted by rayc
The melody, arrangement, comitment and narrative have a lot in common with At 17 era Janis Ian...a really cool thing in my ears. Stellar. Piano, bass n vocals - you own it.
That means a lot to me, ray. thanks Janis Ian deserved a LOT more attention. One of the finest songwriters ever. Appreciate the mention on piano and bass...
Originally Posted by Ezekiel's Storm
Poignant lyrics. Yes, one of your tops. No need for an RT. Your piano is so emotive. I can see some established female singer performing this piece. I'm going back now for another listen.
It's a very sad song. It's amazing that you could write such lyrics at such a young age. The vocals, piano and bass are all wonderful. Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi
Shigeki Adachi - thank you...
Originally Posted by Scott C
Loved the piano framing your vocal Floyd. Gave the song a very delicate feel. Perfectly fits the lyric...
Thanks for that, Scott...
Originally Posted by tommyad
Number 3 has the magic. Your piano skills have risen in a short time to nothing less than remarkable. I always liked the lyrics and you’ve done a fine job bringing them to life. Your vocals and production are always impressive. Tom
Thanks, Tom. Appreciate the comments on piano...
Originally Posted by dcuny
Hi, fj.
Excellent song - not ear candy, but holds up well to repeated listening. Good story, excellent singing (as always).
Hey this is a very cool, plaintive song and the piano is nice, really adds a beautiful flavor.
Fits somewhere between Billy Joel and Tom Waits for me. Really liked it.
Someday I would like to smoke a carton of Lucky Strikes and ask permission to cover this.
Adele?
Uh, no.
Closing Time.
Straight up. With an empty bottle of rye on the piano, recently consumed. The stench of cigarette smoke lingering. Pasties and a g-string nearby. And yes I have a drinking problem. I'm all out of alcohol.
The piano's been drinking not me.
😆
I am truly looking forward to That cover!
As the bouncer is a sumo wrestler cream-puff Casper milktoast And the owner is a mental midget with the i.q. of a fence post
Originally Posted by Janice & Bud
This line portrays her hopelessness so well: "LIfe’s just a b-movie with no back door”
Your piano is wonderful - as Janice said, the nuances in your playing are like your vocal phrasing that so perfectly match the lyric sentiment. Your well chosen sparse bass lines are very supportive.
No more parsing out …simply stated it’s a top bar production by any measure.
Most enjoyable!
J&B
Thanks! Especially appreciative of the piano comments.
WOW ~!! and I mean that sincerely. That is one of the songs you pull off the road to turn up on your car radio to listen to. That is Grammy level lyrics, a Kacy Musgraves would win song of the year with.
Great songwriting is a Movie Script told in 3 minutes, and you certainly did that with this one.
Thanks, Elliot. One of the best comments I've ever recieved...
Originally Posted by HogTime
Wow, what a song! Great lyrics and very soulful piano playing. I really like "story" songs and this is a great one!
Hi floyd. I remember this song from the past. I'm really glad that you decided to give it another round. This such awesome music-crafting. These lyrics are poignant and powerful, and time has not diminished them in any way whatsoever. I find them so easy to relate to. I've known a number of people across the decades who have been in a similar situation as the waitress in your song. With a different roll of Life's dice, I could easily have been in a similar situation myself. As I'm sitting here listening to you sing, I can't help but reflect on how lucky I have been to get to where I am despite the challenges that have come along.
As always, you have done a superb job with every aspect of the song, its creation and its presentation. --Noel
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