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#844915 03/04/25 12:39 PM
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Hi all, here is my second song I was working on. It is a remix from my song from 2019 with the same title.
But the song itself is quite updated, largely new lyrics and new band. The vocals, well, they are always the same.
The song is called Bad Luck; https://on.soundcloud.com/vuPGmEWGUjq6QuPo6
The song is a bit long (4:15). I couldn't shortened it, sorry for that.
I'm curious what you think of it. Especially those 5-string fiddle. That was a bit of a challenge, but in the end I liked it much.
I hope you too!

Hans / Birchwood

The lyrics:
Bad Luck
(c) HwBerkhout 2019/01-03-2025

I'm rowing in an ocean
in a leaking dinghy
I only can recall
Our plane crashed into the sea

I'm the sole survivor
Can't find me any land
I have no food and water
or signals to send

It's getting darker by the hour
Then I only see the moon
The waves are getting rougher
I must be found real soon

I'm rowing in an ocean
No idea where to go
We call this 'bad luck',
as far as I know

Chorus1
No, this ain't my day, though you're with me
In my heart, I see your face and you're smiling
But I'm so frightened, and desperate as can be
Still I keep saying we're gonna make it, you and me

I'm rowing in an ocean
The moon is my only light
Sharks pay me more attention
They're getting closer this night

I'm the sole survivor
No idea where to go
We call this 'bad luck',
As far as I know

Chorus2
No, this ain't my day, though you're with me
In my heart, I see your face and you're smiling
But I'm so frightened, and desperate as can be
Still I keep saying we're gonna make it, you will see

Solo
Chorus3
No, this ain't my day, though you're with me
In my heart, I see your face and you're smiling
But I'm so frightened, and desperate as can be
Still I keep saying we're gonna make it, you and me

Outro
As I row in this sinking dinghy,
so cold and so wet,
you crawled to me, yes finally.
No bad luck no more!
I feel your lips and close my eyes...


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
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This is a REALLY cool song! LOVE your vocals/harmonies, and that chorus is CRAZY good. This is a BiaB band, right? Sounds great, and the fiddle(?) solo is inspired. Fun little pause near the end, too. A real masterwork.


DC Ron
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Hans, this is a super song!
Great vocal/harmonies and lyrics.
Super violin backing tracks and lead
Super mix.


Principal: Your child always causes trouble in school.
Me: My child causes trouble at home, do I ever call you?

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Hans,

Excellent song! Great vocal as always and a superb mix.

Great to hear you again.

Bob

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Cool groove to the song Hans. Excellent vocal and lyric. Cool processing with the harmonies. Loved the backtrack. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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Hello Ron, Mario Bob and Scott,

Thanks a lot for your kind replies and compliments about the mixing and vocals.

And Ron and Mario, yes all of the intruments are from BiaB.
I had some doubts about the 5-string violin, because it has a strange, piercing sound.
But because of its 'sad' tone I added it anyway.

Have a nice weekend,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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This sounds so good! I like the effect you put on the doubled vocal and the harmony vocal. I can't imagine the song without the fiddle--I like its placement in the spread.

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Hullo Hans.
I like the strong rhythm this has.
I would suggest you look at the prosody in these lines:
"or signals to send, as far as I know", and "I must be found real soon".
Those lines are showing you are worried or in doubt but your vocal moves up in pitch so sounds too cheerful.
As I said, the song has good pace/ rhythm and your voice is strong.

Vic

vicarn #845854 03/11/25 09:08 AM
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Hi Scott and Vic,

Thanks for listening and commenting on that Bad Luck song!

Originally Posted by Ezekiel's Storm
This sounds so good! I like the effect you put on the doubled vocal and the harmony vocal. I can't imagine the song without the fiddle--I like its placement in the spread.

Hey Scott, I'm glad you liked that fiddle. Because of it's 5-strings it has a somewhat peculiair sound. I like that, but not every one does. Thanks!

Originally Posted by vicarn
Hullo Hans.
I like the strong rhythm this has.
I would suggest you look at the prosody in these lines:
"or signals to send, as far as I know", and "I must be found real soon".
Those lines are showing you are worried or in doubt but your vocal moves up in pitch so sounds too cheerful.
As I said, the song has good pace/ rhythm and your voice is strong.

Vic

Hi Vic, thanks for mentioning your prosody worries to me (and your compliments as well). I think I know what you mean, but do not agree with that.
The lines in the verses you mentioned were to discribe the hopeless situation the person is in, (the bad luck) but he wants to make the best out of it.
He imagines his wife/girlfriend is with him, although he know she isn't..
He can't afford to sit there as a desperate man. He has to be strong and filled with faith (for her). Until the end, when he felt her lips.
I don't think I sang that cheerful. More sensitively and secretly hoping for Good Luck.


Wish you both a nice day,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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I'm reminded of our unwritten song, Hans On Deck. wink THis is a gem for sure, Hans. You know I always enjoy your vocals, and that enjoyment is elevated when you add harmony. You're right, that fiddle grabs the song and makes it its own. I like the changes, and how well they and the lyrics work so well together.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
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Hallo Marty,

Thanks for your nice message. And about that unfinished song… yeah, I think we have to pick it up one day 🤓
About this song, I guess no one likes bad luck in life, so maybe that makes this song not so popular.
But, in spite of that, I did like (re) making it.

Originally Posted by BabuMusic
I'm reminded of our unwritten song, Hans On Deck. wink THis is a gem for sure, Hans. You know I always enjoy your vocals, and that enjoyment is elevated when you add harmony. You're right, that fiddle grabs the song and makes it its own. I like the changes, and how well they and the lyrics work so well together.

Have a wonderful day,
Hans


Hans Berkhout
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Excellent song, Hans, love everything you have done here.

Add my vote to a collab between you and Marty! "Hans on Deck" sounds like it could be epic wink

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