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#878666 02/02/26 08:59 PM
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Last year, I tried something new. I started typing in chords into Band in a Box to see if I could concoct a tune doing it that way. I found a few chords that sounded interesting so I went to my guitar to finish the tune. It took several tries, especially the middle break. It's a pleasant tune but not what I'd call a hit. It had the sound of a droning trip in a bus so that's how it became a story about my Greyhound bus trips between Boise and Los Angeles in my teens. I sent my vocals into Audimee, which is royalty-free, and used a vocal called Michael, which is close to my own vocal but more clear.

https://www.johnwalradt.com/music/songs/greyhoundbus-master_2026feb02.mp3

Style is _EMOTION.STY (Emotional Rock w/ Strings)
RealTracks in style: 995:Bass, Electric, HardRockLA Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 1535:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopPowerPushA-B Ev 120
RealTracks in song: ~1119:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 2508:String Quartet, Rhythm PopEvenHall Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 3067:Multi[Simultaneous=2] VocalAahs, VocalAahs,
RealTracks in song: ~685:Harmonica, Background Pop Ev 120
RealDrums in style:RockHardEven8^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

GREYHOUND BUS Words and music by John Walradt

Cream colored walls, rows of blue chairs
Down and out people paying their fare
Security guard squatty and fat
Wields a broom to swat at the bats
An old drunken man is sitting by me
Talking about how it's futile to dream
Then he drifts to the night to wash out his mouth with a beer.

Can't get to sleep on a Greyhound bus
The dusk becomes dawn and the dawn becomes dusk
The dawn becomes dusk and the dusk becomes dawn
And it blends like a Renoir painting
You don't want to have to go home again.

Just spent a month with a high school friend
Smog in the palm trees, out after ten
Boarding the bus with the desert ahead
Loneliness creeps as darkness sets in
Longing for someone, more than a friend
Dream by the window of holding her hand
Laughing and sweating, wondering how it would be

Can't get to sleep on a Greyhound bus
The duskbecomes dawn and the dawn becomes dusk
The dawnbecomes dusk and the dusk becomes dawn
And it blends like a Renoir painting
You don't want to have to go home again.

Can't get to sleep on a Greyhound bus
The dusk becomes dawn and the dawn becomes dusk
The dawn becomes dusk and the dusk becomes dawn...

Last edited by John Walradt; 02/02/26 09:02 PM.
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Yeah, I do that too. It's cool to change the style for different results. Hey, I dig this one. Well done, John. Michael is fine, but I prefer singer/songwriter, especially when the synth is very similar. Dylan can't sing, but I refer him much more than The Turtles or Birds. It's cool how you heard a droning bus trip and personalized it with your own stories. Excellent lyrics brings into the bus with you, and it's no longer a droning ride. Very creative, John.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Hi John!
You have quite a few interesting elements in this song - where ‘interesting’ = outside the norm or adding variety = good. However, it’s hard to clearly hear the relationship between the melody sung and the chords underneath. I think this is because the melody sounds like it would be tricky to sing, and also the timing is a little off in some places - maybe sounding a bit rushed? When I’ve been faced with this situation myself, here’s some of the things I do …
  • Punch in the sections that need timing amended and/or use stretch markers to align the vocal or one of those plugins that’ll do it for you
  • Put an instrument that is playing the melody underneath or alongside the vocal to reinforcement the melody, being careful that the type and volume of the instrument doesn’t make the melody disparity more prominent
  • Use Melodyne (or similar) to pitch adjust certain notes

The timbre of the vocal sounds good because it gives the impression of a young adult which suits your background given by your own trips when younger. I thought the long bus journey might also be emphasised by a fade out (I know - soooo 1980s) or an instrumental outro?

I hope you do make some refinements to this song - it’ll be worth it!

Andrew
PS This new technique you tried is one I use often. Half the time I start writing in BIAB with a style and input some chords and keep adding and subtracting until I have something appealing to me - same approach with the melody in the editable notation window. The other half usually start with a vocal line and melody that I quickly put into my iPad VoiceMemos app that I then set up in BIAB at another time.

Last edited by Andrew Dee; 9 hours ago. Reason: PS added
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Hi, Andrew! Great to see you again! Terrific pointers you have! The idea of putting in an instrument to follow the melody is very good. That would also give a hired vocalist a better idea of it. The chords make the melody more tricky and veiled to follow and the funny thing is when I isolate the vocal track, I can't help thinking "What the 4u^k is this?" Put the instruments back in and it makes sense. The tune has an element of ambiguity and yet has interest and that's how I got the droning, longing, melody I have. I like the idea of a fadeout with vocals included. It would follow the them of a bus traveling into the distance. Even if it's 70s and 80s, it is likely to come back...if we don't annihilate our planet first! I really like fadeouts if I can't get Band in a Box to do exactly what I want. Know what I'd really like to do with vocals? Have Solohead (Vladimir from Ukraine) sing it. He's the one I used on "Summer Day." His fee for doing lead and harmony comes to (with tip) about $140, about 200 to the Australian dollar. That an expense, though, I try to save for my really catchy tunes.

I've run into timing issues before but my biggest problem is not noticing them. Usually someone else points them out. I'll have to listen very carefully to see if I can pick them up. Cutting and rearranging clips or stretch markers have been my favorite way to deal with them. I love Melodyne! That program has saved me from having a vocalist redo a part where they seriously didn't follow the melody. I think I picked up a couple subtle places where Melodyne would work well in "Greyhound Bus" though I suspect there's several more.

Thank you for listening and your comments!
Best to you, John

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Hi, Marty!
I think the artist's original vocal is better than someone else's, too,...and then I go do this! There are some songs where I think a great job was done by both artists: Neil Young and Nicolette Larson on "Lotta Love," Todd Rundgren and England Dan & John Ford Coley on "Love is the Answer." I never did hear Willis Alan Ramsey on "Muskrat Candlelight" (changed to "Muskrat Love" which America did okay with but The Captain & Toenail butchered). Nancy Griffith was undeniably best on her own song, "Love at the Five and Dime." I preferred Bob Dylan to the Byrds on "Tambourine Man" as he had the grit and feeling the song deserved. Paul Simon had the everyman vocals that worked so well for his songs. And Neil Diamond should apologize for recording songs by Joni Mitchell! I never thought of my own vocals as good but there are a few songs I have that I can carry. I'm usually a melody person and I usually write conversational words instead of lyrics but when I come up with a good story it somehow stuns me. A melody has to feel like the story.
Thank you for listening and your comments! I very much like that you dig it!
John

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Originally Posted by John Walradt
Hi, Andrew! Great to see you again! Terrific pointers you have! The idea of putting in an instrument to follow the melody is very good. That would also give a hired vocalist a better idea of it. The chords make the melody more tricky and veiled to follow and the funny thing is when I isolate the vocal track, I can't help thinking "What the 4u^k is this?" Put the instruments back in and it makes sense. The tune has an element of ambiguity and yet has interest and that's how I got the droning, longing, melody I have. I like the idea of a fadeout with vocals included. It would follow the them of a bus traveling into the distance. Even if it's 70s and 80s, it is likely to come back...if we don't annihilate our planet first! I really like fadeouts if I can't get Band in a Box to do exactly what I want.
Thank you for taking my suggestions with the goodwill they were intended John! I've been thinking all morning that I hoped you would. This forum really is full of wonderful contributors that are very encouraging and supportive, and I've learned a lot. From what I hear, other non-BIAB forums are not so - one either hears crickets or receive rather harsh feedback. You're spending some time on the forum so I've assumed you're enjoying your experience - good to hear a lot of your own contributions in music and feedback!

Quote
Know what I'd really like to do with vocals? Have Solohead (Vladimir from Ukraine) sing it. He's the one I used on "Summer Day." His fee for doing lead and harmony comes to (with tip) about $140, about 200 to the Australian dollar. That an expense, though, I try to save for my really catchy tunes.
When I've seen people mention FivRR I have often wondered what the going rate is - I guess it varies according to demand and supply. I can understand being choosy about when you use it.

Quote
I've run into timing issues before but my biggest problem is not noticing them. Usually someone else points them out. I'll have to listen very carefully to see if I can pick them up. Cutting and rearranging clips or stretch markers have been my favorite way to deal with them. I love Melodyne! That program has saved me from having a vocalist redo a part where they seriously didn't follow the melody. I think I picked up a couple subtle places where Melodyne would work well in "Greyhound Bus" though I suspect there's several more.
I will often double track (sometimes triple track) my vocals and often end up with different phrasing. I will sometimes monitor this visually by looking at the waveform in my DAW to find which track best keeps to the beats, then time-stretch or punch-in to get the other track(s) to match.

Quote
Thank you for listening and your comments!
Best to you, John
Always good to see what you're offering in new songs, John. Always variety!
Andrew

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