(The gong sounds. Mee pushes Ronald out.)

Mee: And now ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to welcome the last of our all-England finalists this evening, from Bingley, the Bolton Choral Society and their leader Superintendent McGough, (a big choir comes on, immaculately drilled, each holding a score, with Fred Tomlinson as superintendent McGough) All right Bingley, remember you've got fifteen seconds to summarize Proust in his entirety starting from now.

First Soloist: Proust, in his first book wrote about... fa la la...

Second Soloist: Proust in his first book wrote about...

Tenors: He wrote about...

(They continue contrapuntally, in madrigal, never getting beyond these words until they rallentando to say...)

All: Proust in his first book wrote about the... (gong sounds)

Voice Over: Very ambitious try there, but in fact the least successful of the evening, they didn't even get as far as the first volume. (the singers leave the stage)

Mee: Well ladies and gendemen, I don't think any of our contestants this evening have succeeded in encapsuladng the intricacies of Proust's masterwork, so I'm going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest......

Now that piece of humour, has gongs. Great thing.

On a midi drum track the use of F7 a note you can add, should yield a gong.

I'd explore e8 which off the top of my bald head should yield a cowbell. I can play some of the monty python stuff on a cowbell, but hit the gong in parts for variations on a theme of cowpatties.

Now for something completely different. After you beat the gong.

John Conley
Musica est vita