You guys are just THE best ever!!

I have always been the type who will refuse to believe what believe to not be true, despite evidence supporting the opposing point of view. Been that way my entire life, from the moment the doctor slapped my butt and I turned around and slapped him back...

I have a very dear friend in Oklahoma. She and I were on the phone the other day, and she had me on speaker. Her husband was home and involved in the conversation and from his spot on the couch in front of the gaming console I heard him offer "Have you ever talked to a counselor about PTSD? It sounds like that might be a part of it." That got me started on research about the condition. Most web pages list 14 chronic symptoms. I seem to fit 11 or 12 of them. My tendency to always be "on guard", my inability to let people get close to me (as 3 ex wives will attest to), being emotionally numb, inability to enjoy things that used to provide pleasure... I could keep going but there is no need. I just need to admit that PTSD is an option I should look at, and at my doctor visit next week I will bring it up and see about some sessions at the VA. There was no "thing", no one specific event, in Vietnam that I could point to and say "THAT was it!", nothing that I have recurring nightmares about, anything like that. Just the cumulative of having been there, being diabetic as a result of the Agent Orange exposure.... much goes into the profile.

Mountainside, you are correct. I am not a quitter. I once boxed a 4 round preliminary against an opponent who was the last cut from the Olympic team in 1972. I ended up with a broken jaw, a broken nose, and 3 broken ribs, but I lasted the whole 4 rounds. (I never said I was SMART!) I will come out of this tailspin.