Quote:

Quote:

Lots of 'I' and 'Me' in the original lyrics. Love songs are usually about the other person.



For exceptions, try "My Girl". (Otis Reading, Temptations etc.)

ROG.



Granted. However, IMO what really works with My Girl is not the first person references, but the great contrast that each line in the verses provides: I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.

The My Girl use of first person happens in conjunction with great comparison, contrast and even irony. Otherwise it wouldn't work. The writer points out that bees are jealous, the birds song is not as beautiful as his by comparison.

There are also plenty of 'we' and 'our' in love songs as well. My point to Mick was to get him to think somewhat outside the box; to use a little more poetry and creative ways of expressing the personal thoughts that will connect with listeners than outright 'I/me/my' statements.

Here's a first person line that runs along with the My Girl type of contrast/comparison: (humming along with My Girl up to reader! Finger snapping also optional.)

Instead of paint-by-numbers, mine is a masterpiece.

Listening to your song, brings such sweet release.

Mick - enjoy practicing the craft of writing lyrics. There are many great references to use as tools. My favorite free resource is the McGill Rhyming Dictionary, which includes poetry from famous authors linked to words that you are trying to rhyme. It's a download and can be very useful to help you unstick some thoughts that you might have.

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