Billy... cool tune. I really like this. Cowboy songs are among my favorite topics... and you're off to a good start in this genre. I think you will do writing country.

I agree, with the previous comments that the vocals are way to low for country. They need to be upfront and not have a lot of reverb and absolutely no other effects. You want he audience to hear the singer in the same room with them.

Ditto on the fiddle..... use automation and envelopes to let it do some tasty fills. Letting it play through out makes the song too busy where it should be basic rhythm and a singer. Letting it play is way too distracting.

Lets dig a bit deeper.... you used the same exact rhyming words... TRUCK & LUCK in two different verses. This is where you need to dig deeper to find new and original lines. I've heard it said that you never want to use the same rhyming word twice in a song....It shows a lack of creative thinking..... excepting in the chorus obviously..... which brings be to another point....

Where's the chorus? You have several verses, and a line that sounds more like a pre-chorus....but there's no chorus anywhere to be found.

"It’s a cowboy’s life...When the rodeo is over" is a great pre-chorus line...but it's not a chorus.

You should place a chorus right after that line.... the word "Over" ends on the root... walk up to the 4th... BANG!!!! you have the start to the chorus. Heck... I would make that line the first line of the chorus.... it's a great line. Just write 3 more lines to follow it and tell the story.... Yeah this needs a big chorus so go and write one. Use it to tie the verses together and fill in the story you're telling. You don't need the PC.

Since you'll be adding a chorus.... that will put the song well over 4 minutes in length... drop a verse so you can insert the chorus... remember it will likely play 3 times. Once after each verse/pc... and a tagged chorus too ..possibly. You can also incorporate the PC you have now into a full chorus and save a few seconds in that manner too. It's totally up to you.

Start by condensing the 3 verses into 2 really good ones.... v2 is more filler than substance.... take the lines from them all and make 2 good ones. You need to eliminate the word fumbling as I call it... make the phrasing and word usage flow like water.....there's a few places that can use some smoothing out.

Shorten the intro to 10 to 12 seconds...

Verse 1 .. PC .. Chorus... V 2 .. PC .. CH...solo...CH tag...would be a good basic country structure.

OK.. I think that's enough for you to ponder.

I want you to know that I never give advice like this, that I have not been given, AND USED, myself. 2 songs come to mind.... The Best Christmas and COME & GO.... listen to them on my music page.... both started out with 3 or 4 verses, a chorus, pre-chorus and bridges. Both were near or over 5 minutes long. The advice I was given was almost exactly what I just advised for you to do. I took the songs and essentially rewrote them condensing things, deleting bridges and verses and the result was well worth the effort. What was a wandering boring song became a focused, halfway well written country song. It's a lot of work, but it's worth the effort when you finally get it done the right way.

Last edited by Guitarhacker; 10/18/15 02:43 AM.
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