So this might be an interesting topic - I'll share my most formative life events and motivations, share a big unfulfilled aspiratoin in my life (a disappointment really), and how I've finally almost accepted it, but not quite over it.

I was a school "goody goody" (always got great grades from incredibly hard work - my parents had financial problems, among others, and instilled that if I studied hard in school and got a good job, I wouldn't have those). Also, having a mom with bipolar disorder who got severely sick every 1 to 2 years, and no way to get away from it living in a small apartment, it was hell to be in the house and watch over her.

I started playing guitar at 14 (I'm 54 now), because I absolutely loved music, and because I thought it would help me be more cool, make friends, get chicks, and make some side money. Well, it did give me something to talk about with other kids who I knew that were also learning an instrument - but that's about it. I never really met the right people to be in a band with - they were either too good, beginners, or plane old 'too cool' for me to fit in with. At some point I had hoped to get good enough to be in a wedding band - which was the best paying, steadiest work that was still available back then...that didn't pan out for the same reasons. I did get good enough to give guitar lessons to beginners, and the musical highlights for me were going into the study with a few friends that also played instruments - but that never led to anything else.

In hindsight, while I practiced many hours, I didn't have guitar teachers that taught me to practice the right things...the new tab books that gave note for note transcriptions were a blessing because I could never really hear the harmonies when learning songs off the record - to this day that's still one of my weak points. And not playing with other musicians frequently or getting in a band...well that is crippling if you're trying to become a musician.

I graduated with an electrical engineering degree, and later added a computer science degree - never really used my education to it's fullest advantage. My first real jobs were with defense companies - 4 years with automated testing equipment, 20 years testing financial software for financial companies, and recently ten years as an Occupational Therapist helping kids with mild cognitive disabilities (mostly LD, ADHD, behavior issues). During those years, I continued to study music, and besides my main love for early hard rock and pop music, added in flamenco music.

Looking back - I still love to listen to music, and continue to be a "professional student". I still love to watch guitar lessons online and collect great teaching software. I look for people similar to my profile, but rarely find them - again, they're either much better than me, or beginners.

Music can no longer offer the things I originally wanted - my "coolness" has never really changed, and I accept that whatever level of coolness I have is not something I could easily change - it would be artificial anyway, even if I could. Chicks ? - well I'm very happily married, love my wife, and would never break our trust - and open relationships present too many complications, and most of the wives don't like that idea, God knows you can feel attraction to other women, but actually going through with it would probably present more unexpected problems than you could easily foresee lol Making some extra money ? never happened. Playing in a band ? never worked out.

One thing that did work out was managing to stay employed in ok-paying jobs. Besides music, another hope I had was making some big money. I never did that, but I'm very thankful to own a house and have no trouble paying the bills and affording all the little pleasures I want.

I still like to learn and play along with records, but I realize my natural musical talent plus practicing is far above many, but far below many also. One good thing that I have finally accepted is that those things I hoped for earlier from music - they stopped making sense as logical goals given my current place in life. Earlier, I would beat myself up for not practicing enough, not progressing quickly enough, and not working hard enough at it. More recently - last few years, accepting that those goals don't mean the same thing they once did and they are unrealistic for me to achieve, I don't feel bad about practicing less, and therefore have more time to do other things. Practicing can really eat up a lot of your leisure hours, which for most are minimal to begin with if you have a life outside your music.

Wow - that was fun - covers lots of things in my life. If you have a similar profile - PM me - maybe we can study some online lessons together or push each other to learn some songs.

Also - share your biography too !!! At least one person would be interested (I would) , and I bet a lot of other members too. Many of us have talked music for so long and know each other on the topic levels this forum offers- I bet there are a lot of other interesting things your fellow members would be interested in learning about you.

Last edited by Joe V; 12/05/20 04:57 AM.