Yep, as Floyd said, without the lyrics I would have not been able to understand the words at all.

It's a cool, creative song. But right now, you have some mix issues to fix. I'll give you my two cents for what it is worth.

The synth that starts it tends to be a bit loud in the song. I turned the volume down thinking maybe that would help.... not much. Lower that synth in the mix.

On the vocals, they could come up a bit but they really need to be thinned out and de-muddied. Try setting an EQ slope to a high pass, starting at 100hz on each vocal track. Make it steep. That should eliminate a lot of the mud that is making it hard to hear the vocals clearly. You might have to experiment a bit to see if the cutoff needs to be higher or lower than 100hz. Right now, there's way too much going on in the mid range of the vocals. It sounds like there's two voices happening in the chorus.... pan them and high pass them both. You might even consider an old time telephone voice on that part. It was really hard for me to hear exactly what you had going on in there. I'd also back off the reverb or echo a bit when you are reworking it. Dry it up, and then add it a little at a time until you get to where you think it sounds good. Get good separation and intelligible lyrics and then add the FX back in.

You can also consider.... although I did not hear this as a problem, but it could have been contributing to the mud..... you can do a less extreme high pass on the bass. Something in the range of 40 to 60 hz with a less steep slope. It removes the rumble and low stuff that contributes nothing useful to the mix.

Hope you find this useful. Play with the mix a bit more, and repost the next version.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.