PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Choking

I posted this song about 10 years ago.
It was written well before that (1979).
I was never completely satisfied with the piano track.

In my opinion, BIAB is lacking when it comes to "singer-songwriter style piano RTs".
I've requested that more be added. Hoping that that happens in the next release.
If you want to "add your voice" go here:
https://www.pgmusic.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=765983&page=1

Since it has been 10 years, I decided to walk my way through all the piano RTs to see if any added in the last 10 years would do the trick.
I did find ONE piano RT that gets closer to what I'm looking for.
I think there should be a LOT more - therefore, the wishlist item


The BAND...

MIDI SuperTracks in song: 3674:Piano, Rhythm NewAgeArp16 Ev16 090
RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev
RealTracks in song: 1173:Accordion, Rhythm PopCalypso Ev 100

The piano MST is rendered using Adictive Keys Studio Grand.




A waitress I knew told me her story.
I made it rhyme.


CHOKING

i've been here since ten this morning
there's no end in sight
just my luck, i get stuck
with all the drunks tonight
when it comes to talking troubles
i might raise my voice
i'm working as a waitress
cause i've got no choice
my feet hurt so badly
i can barely stand
that busboy's so damn lazy
he won't lend a hand
another dollar tip
another pack of kents
i'd quit right now if i knew how
else to pay my rent

   sometimes i wonder what it's all for
   life's just a b-movie with no back door
   is this someone's idea of a clever joke
   since i was seventeen
   i've been choking

my old man past away
seven years it's been
a heart attack at fifty-two
his job did him in
you bust your [*****] all your life
but it never pays
he left me here with nothing
but three kids to raise
i'm forty-six tommorow
you think my children care
it gets to where you count on them
not being there
they say to set your sights
on the highest star
that's just to keep you from seeing
where you really are

   sometimes i wonder what it's all for
   life's just a b-movie with no back door
   is this someone's idea of a clever joke
   since i was seventeen
   i've been choking...



Have a smoke. A cup of coffee. A listen.

fj

Really emotional singing ... gets under my skin.
Vocals with piano and sparse strings always touch me when done right (think Adele).
Great!

A sad look at the gritty side of life.

you think my children care
it gets to where you count on them not being there

Wow.... Powerful words.

Great job.

Floyd,

I remember this song. It's as powerful now as it was 10 years ago.

I love the "band" and your vocal is outstanding. Excellent production.

A beautiful piece of music...

Bob

The chorus - a definitive essay on adult life in four lines.

Great lyrics. One of your best in my opinion.
Sums up the grim existence of many of us.

I agree about the lack of singer songwriter real tracks, especially in 3/4 time.

Vic

Oh, please let there be an update to this story, this life. So sad, so relatable. Love the stripped down band. Everything adds its own touch of tenderness, and you've mixed them masterfully. Yes, she wasn't just choking on the smoke. Kents.

Wow, what a powerful song! Just an amazing write, with perfect delivery.

Very moving, Floyd.

Thanks, B.D.



Thanks, Herb




Thanks, Bob

Floyd,

I think this is really nice, howbeit very sad, which was your intention, I know.

I thought the piano was fine, but since you play you might just do it yourself.

For me, I find I just can't get the precise feeling I am looking for on upfront melodic piano unless I do it myself, especially if I am going for "haunting" and the piano is in the foreground.

FWIIW and YMMV etc etc..

Floyd...poignant and powerful...you constructed a very appropriate and convincing piano track IMO...though I do agree that all of the keyboard tracks are much more difficult to work with than the guitar real tracks in BiaB....that being said this is a beautiful piece...the lyric is the star here...a sad and beautiful story wrapped in a tender and haunting melody...it's another masterpiece and instantly one of my favorites of yours...as a writer/composer you always keep the bar high for the rest of us to emulate (if that were possible)...Dan

Floyd, what a powerful song about many whom are trying to make it in today's world.

This hit home as we have family members in similar situations.

Outstanding lyrics and an excellent backing band.

One of your absolute best.

floyd

A powerful sad but haunting song. Especially nice use of the accordion.

Superb work, and an excellent vocal as always.

Peter

Wow. That's some write.

   you think my children care
   it gets to where you count on them
   not being there

Yes, the piano fits well. Cello is great, and the accordion is a great substitute for string swells. I has listening through the example solo pianos tracks you linked to, and I noticed that an intimate string section with swells was used quite often.

And of course, everything else is stellar as well.

FJ,
Common subject -> Extraordinary performance! You conveyed waitress story very well. Excellent write in all respects. Accordion was a treat. Definitely one of your top songs. Two spins, sounds great. Mix is spotless. Thank you for sharing,
Misha.

P.S. I see what you mean by pianos. Wil head over wish section now.

Wow.

This is one of those songs that when the performance is over, the audience is dead silent for a moment before they erupt in applause. The song pulls hard at your heart.

I love the minimal instrumentation. I think the piano works, fitting the mood of the song.

One of your best, and you have a lot of best.

Wow so much emotion Floyd. The vocal and the piano just filled the room with a very emotional song. Really well done.

I MUCH appreciate that comment.




Thanks, Vic...

I never stick around long enough to find out how it turns out.

I'm thinking you'll need to do the follow-up (you do "sunny" well - so you can have her find-her-way)

Looking forward to that.
I want it to be JUST Bass and percussion and vocal.
Get to work.





Thanks, Dave...

“they say to set your sights
on the highest star
that's just to keep you from seeing
where you really are”

The above lines AND the way you sang them are powerful. Emotive to the max.

We remember this song and it still is “stronger than a garlic milkshake!”

The cello and accordion sound excellent. Whatever manipulations you did with the piano it sounds great in what's played and also the applied grand sound.

The vocal and lyric are stellar.

We hope that waitress if she's still with us is having a better life these days.

Awesome!

J&B

PS. We love your album cover!