I love Rumi. I even quote him in my email signature. But I didn't comment on your 1st version, mostly because I couldn't get beyond the AI vocals (that's just me). I was in a better place to put those aside and listen to the music and lyrics today. I liked this version better overall. I think what you've done with the "many, many, many" repetition is quite unique. So here's a really, pikayune point: the only thing lyrically that gave me pause was the "stunning girl, outside of me" because where else would she be? To me that line then detracts from the meaning of the chorus. You could sub with "just out of reach" or some alternative. My two cents, anyway.