Hi, Hans.

Excellent work. Good write, well produced. The arrangement and vocals are very effective.

Purely my opinion, but I'd want to leave the listener with the final words "dirty white dress" in their ears, instead of worrying about a nice cadence. So I'd cut it around 3:40, or 3:48 as the most. The longer it goes until the final ending, the further away those words are from being the last thought.

There are a few places where the language isn't that of a native English speaker. For example:

   I walk through a destructed land,
   and a city torn apart.
   The dead and wounded are everywhere,
   no tree still stands in heart.

The word "destructed" is understandable, but wouldn't be used. A more typical word would be "destroyed" or "ravaged". Something like Rhymezone to check for synonyms.

On the other hand, there's something unique about using language slightly differently than expected. So it's your call - is it more important to speak in your own voice and perhaps call attention from the song to your words, or find something more "normal" that perhaps isn't as unique? Obviously, it's your call.

The line no tree still stands in heart is a bit confusing, because whatever the trees are no in the heart of isn't there in the sentence. Then again, maybe you intended to be ambiguous.

The lyric What kind of world I live in? should probably be What kind of world do I live in? It's understandable as-is, but again, calls attention to itself because of the non-standard construction.

Just some thoughts. I think the song works very well as-is.

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?