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#737164 11/03/22 04:41 AM
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Title: Eleanor Lennox: Being Real

Link: Eleanor Lennox: Being Real

SoundCloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/eleanorlennox/being-real

This is a more critical song against the current state of society where you are only accepted if you play a certain game, get plastic surgery to get the expected youthful look, have the right opinions and pretend to be wealthy and being cool.

I'm not 100% happy with the song (some days I really love it, other days I find it boring
and the lyrics pretentious), but it's finished and shouldn't be gathering dust on my computer.

I'd love for you guys to give me feedback on what you think of it, and it's 100% fine if you don't like it as long as you tell me why (after all, I want to improve).

Some trivia you might not be interested in:

  • the song started out as a kind of mellow Carpenters song with Natalie, but at some point I took the wrong road and ended up somewhere else, and Eleanor is singing it now.
  • the song is in the upper range of Eleanor's feel-good range, but if you take the song down a third, the feeling is completely destroyed, so I left it up there.
  • I started with my usual "wall of guitars" (Raccoon in a dumpster had 8 of them), but reduced it to 4 because (at least in my opinion) a more fragile sound suits the song better.
  • It was unexpectedly hard to mix, with lots of automation and side-chaining and what not to get things where they needed to be.
  • The images you see in the video were all created by an AI. Not all of them are perfect, but they serve their purpose and I don't have to worry about copyright claims anymore.

Special thanks (again) to Marty for proofreading the lyrics and the encouraging words. You rule!


Some technical infos:
Styles: Broken.STY and SHINSYN.STY

The band:
Drums: SkaSlow70sWesPerc and RockThrashHalfTime
Bass: 1009 (re-amped)
Guitars: 3931, 4100, 3642 and 634
Bosendorfer 290 Piano: yours truly
Vocals: Eleanor Lennox with BG-vocals from her younger sisters Natalie and Weina.

You can find the lyrics below in the next posting.

Last edited by Andrew - PG Music; 02/09/23 09:54 AM.

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Title: Eleanor Lennox: Being Real

Verse 1:
I do live on thin ice
A life that seems so good
It's just a facade, built on wealth and looks
Born of insecurity
Expectations I try to fulfill
The person I did not want to be

Pre-Chorus 1:
I just don't wanna be that way
A mindless lemming on its way to conformity, no way
And I never really wanna be a puppet of society
A minion, someones property, just to be free

Chorus 1:
No, no, just no
no, no, no no

Verse 2:
What seems right is often wrong
You can't buy someone's soul
Marching to the drums of conformity
Like a soldier who must obey
Pretending to be good with a dishonest look
But the devil inside tries to escape

Pre-Chorus 2:
But I just wanna be myself
with all the freckles on my face
the hidden ugly side of the human race

Chorus 3:
That is what I'm forced to be
That is what I gonna be, gonna be
That is what I gonna be

Last edited by B.D.Thomas; 11/03/22 04:44 AM. Reason: Lyrics added

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The vocal sounded extremely real. I don't think it was out of the "upper range of Eleanor's feel-good range" at all.

Loved the lyrics. They are so true in today's world.

Super dynamics - great half wall of guitars

I found nothing wrong with this song.


Yeah, I've got O.C.D, Old, Cranky, and Dangerous.

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B.D...I'm still amazed at Eleanor...I agree with Mario's comments and assessment...the track was super...the guitars gave the song the drive it needed and Eleanor's vocal was certainly human sounding though maybe a bit restrained in her performance...the theme is compelling and tragically true for so many...certainly a well crafted and delivered social comment in an interesting and melodic package! Dan

(Do you have a Bosendorfer 290?)

Last edited by firesong; 11/03/22 07:32 AM.

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B.D.,

An interesting write.

The chugging guitars are nicely done.
Interesting drum combination. Well used.
Vocals are good.
Mix sounds good.

A very cool video!

Enjoyed the listen.
You are doing some interesting stuff with BIAB....

fj

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Nice song, short and sweet! Vocals were really good, and the video was a nice complement to the lyrics. Everything worked well for me. The lyrics were mostly good with an awkward phrase here and there. It held my interest well and was short so I listened several times. Very good work overall.


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Good song but I was really captivated by the video - that was excellent.

Enjoyed it (and the synth singer sounded very good indeed).

Peter

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I like the song! Good production, vocals sound good. laugh

But since you're asking for feedback, here's some thoughts to ignore: wink

The first verse piecemeal and not very lyrical. In particular, the first line:

   I do live on thin ice

comes out with long pauses between the first words, and "do" is a filler word.

The lyrics also combined opposing ideas into the same phrase, such as:

   And I never really wanna be a puppet of society
   A minion, someone's property, just to be free


"just to be free" isn't part of the list that it follows, and "to be" without "want" doesn't make much sense.

But I'll admit that, despite my complaints, proper grammar in songs is vastly overrated! wink

The same thing happens in the last chorus, where "that" in one phrase refers to what they "are forced to be", and then is followed by what they are "gonna be":

   With all the freckles on my face
   The hidden ugly side of the human race
   That is what I'm forced to be
   That is what I gonna be, gonna be


Again, not a big deal. Nice work!


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Oh, I love the sentiment of the song, and an excellent production, BD. Never too many guitars, but, yeah, it becomes quite difficult to mix them all to make them relate. You did an excellent job on this. AI! Excellent. A friend of mine added some of my lyrics to create some cool images. You did a great job with these. Did you create them, too? In Mid Journey? They really do this cool song justice. Yeah, when it comes to society I'm more of an amused observer than a willing participant.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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Hi B.D.
Really cool song that works perfectly in conjunction with the video
The vocals are impressively good
Very good work B.D.
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Originally Posted By: MarioD
The vocal sounded extremely real. I don't think it was out of the "upper range of Eleanor's feel-good range" at all.

Loved the lyrics. They are so true in today's world.

Super dynamics - great half wall of guitars

I found nothing wrong with this song.

Thank you for your kind comment, Mario.

I think you just created a new term in music production: "Half Wall of Guitars".
The little sister of Phil Spector's "Wall of Sound" grin


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Originally Posted By: firesong
B.D...I'm still amazed at Eleanor...I agree with Mario's comments and assessment...the track was super...the guitars gave the song the drive it needed and Eleanor's vocal was certainly human sounding though maybe a bit restrained in her performance...the theme is compelling and tragically true for so many...certainly a well crafted and delivered social comment in an interesting and melodic package! Dan

(Do you have a Bosendorfer 290?)

Thank you so much for your kind comment, Dan. Very appreciated.

I would love to own a Bosendorfer 290, but they are extremely expensive and my piano skills would not do them justice anyway.
I use a virtual instrument along with my master keyboard.


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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
B.D.,

An interesting write.

The chugging guitars are nicely done.
Interesting drum combination. Well used.
Vocals are good.
Mix sounds good.

A very cool video!

Enjoyed the listen.

Thanks for listening and your feedback, Floyd. It's highly appreciated.

Originally Posted By: floyd jane
You are doing some interesting stuff with BIAB...

Thanks again. Well, if BG Music would finally implement their "all tracks are equal" feature properly and change the instruments in the mixer window according to a style change, it would also be EASY to do interesting things...
But I guess I'm not the only one complaining about this.


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Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
Nice song, short and sweet! Vocals were really good, and the video was a nice complement to the lyrics. Everything worked well for me. The lyrics were mostly good with an awkward phrase here and there. It held my interest well and was short so I listened several times. Very good work overall.

Thank you for your kind comment, Rob.
If you find awkward phrases don't be shy and write what's wrong.
I'm here to learn!


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Very interesting song B.D.!
Vocal sounds very good, music too.
Really good lyrics, you're absolutely right about it.
And... I love the video!

Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

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I like the message of the song, "Marching to the drums of conformity" is a nice write.

On the first listen, the vocals and guitars seemed to fight for the same frequencies, I couldn't fully hear the lyrics, after reading them that was no more a problem, but maybe a boost on Eleanor's higher frequencies could make things better... or maybe it is just my bad hearing wink Anyway, nice pop band fits with Eleanor's low voice and especially the drums are mixed perfectly. Good work with Eleanor.

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Eleanor and her siblings nailed it!

Another fine example of the power of this technology in talented hands.

Your piano, the RT's and the mix yielded excellent dynamics.

Your excellent video, while different from the previous, offered images that well supported the lyric.

Nice production ... not nits.

J&B


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I like the tune. Eleanor has a terrific voice. I actually wanted the vocal to be a bit more up front.

But hey, the production is quite solid.

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Originally Posted By: PeterF
Good song but I was really captivated by the video - that was excellent.

Enjoyed it (and the synth singer sounded very good indeed).

Peter

Thanks for listening and the nice feedback, Peter.


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Originally Posted By: dcuny
...here's some thoughts to ignore: wink

Forget it. I'm here to learn. And this is very detailed feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to write all this smile

Originally Posted By: dcuny
The first verse piecemeal and not very lyrical. In particular, the first line:

   I do live on thin ice

comes out with long pauses between the first words, and "do" is a filler word.

Yes, that's true. The pauses are intentional to start slowly, and "I'm living on thin ice" had the wrong flow. But that "do" is indeed a bit edgy. I'll try to find something better.

Originally Posted By: dcuny
The lyrics also combined opposing ideas into the same phrase, such as:

   And I never really wanna be a puppet of society
   A minion, someone's property, just to be free


"just to be free" isn't part of the list that it follows, and "to be" without "want" doesn't make much sense.

Here I disagree, the "want" is there: I never really wanna be <e.g. a murderer> in order to be free.
But the "in order" makes that more clear, I think I'll change that.

Originally Posted By: dcuny
The same thing happens in the last chorus, where "that" in one phrase refers to what they "are forced to be", and then is followed by what they are "gonna be":

   With all the freckles on my face
   The hidden ugly side of the human race
   That is what I'm forced to be
   That is what I gonna be, gonna be

Would changing the last line to "This is what I gonna be" make it better?

Originally Posted By: dcuny
Again, not a big deal. Nice work!

Don't worry, my singers are willing to do unlimited retakes.
Good girls... grin


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