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#779981 10/24/23 03:35 PM
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Hi all:

After venturing into different territory on my last song, here’s one in a more familiar genre for me. I’ve gone pretty minimalist in the production, and limited my time laboring on it . . . so it likely has some shortcomings . . . but it’s done enough to share (I think) and I hope you enjoy the listen.

Thanks much in advance for the feedback and suggestions.

Stay well all,

Deej

Here’s the song:

YOU COULD BE MY EVERYTHING

Here are the lyrics:

Something in your way
Somewhere in your eyes
An open invitation
But I know I won’t reply
Because there’s nothing I will do
And nothing I will say
And the more and more I fantasize
The more you slip away

I’m wishing on a love
I can’t make real
Reaching out for something
I know I’ll never let me feel

But I could be wrong
You could be right
You could be the fire in my life
You could be strong
Carry my weight
Be the iron in my gate
You could be every note
That I would ever sing
You could be my falling star
You could be my everything

It might be a mistake
I’ve made my share and more
Another episode of cowardice
Well, I’ve seen this show before
And still you pull my heart
With the mischief in your smile
While every breath’s a stop and start
Every inch a mile

But, oh, those little moments
Make me fall
How can everything seem possible
When I know it’s not at all

But I could be wrong
You could be right
You could be the fire in my life
You could be strong
Carry my weight
Be my savior, be my fate
You could be every joy that
Love and heaven brings
You could be my angel, baby
You could be my everything

And all these blinds of mercy
That I have sadly drawn
Are the only things that I have
Ever learned to count upon

So all the light the darkness
Let’s me see
Is just another empty laugh
I guess, the joke’s on me

And here’s the band:

RealTracks 2475: Bass, Acoustic, HeldSimple
RealTracks 2914: Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Folky16thsBrent
RealTracks 4166: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RockNewWave80sHeldArpChorus
RealTracks 1856: Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
RealTracks i3203: Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist RnBPopBrent Ev 110

Last edited by Deej56; 10/24/23 03:44 PM.
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Actually, I think this is the perfect production for this song: it sounds like you're sitting in a small bar, singing your heart out and crying.
Live and unplugged.

My producer self says: don't touch anything. It's perfect the way it is.


Making bits and bytes sound good...

Goldmania Bella - A One-Man Girlband with no fans
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Wow! This is awesome from the production to the lyrics and onto the vocals. Specifically, simple guitar and then bringing in the cello. Your voice is very captivating and fits this song so amazingly well.

Dewey

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Deej.
You really pulled something out of the bag this time.
Fabulous lyric and less is more BIAB tracks.
Love the chorus.

Vic

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Hi, Deej. I'm always blown away by your wonderful uniqueness. Love this one, man. Perfect lyrics and perfectly simple presentation which shows that this song is just perfect the way you wrote it.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Deej,

This is an amazing piece of music... Your vocal is so good. Love the sparse production - fits perfectly.

So good!

Bob

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Wow Deej!
This is an outstanding song and equally outstanding presentation. It's breathtakingly good.
I love your production and your performance, and the way you string words and phrases together is as skillful as anything I've ever come across in the music world.
My favourite lines were...
Quote
And still you pull my heart
With the mischief in your smile
While every breath’s a stop and start
Every inch a mile
In every way, everything about this song and its presentation is a huge credit to your abilities.
I really enjoyed going where you took me.
--Noel


MY SONGS...
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Y'know that's just about perfect in every way. Wonderful and unique vocals. Great use of BiaB instruments, too, including the soloist. So very tasteful all the way around. All of that, and in the key of...B?! Free your mind and the rest will follow. Ha!


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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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DJ this is a top shelf production.
Everything is perfect.
You vocal and mix are outstanding.
Don't change a thing!


I want my last spoken words to be "I hid a million dollars under the........................"

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Emotionally compelling vocal.

I really like the chorus. It stick in the head and in the heart. One of your best.

I always a cello, and it works well here. Instrumentation hits the mark.

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Deej, your voice is amazing.

The instruments do their job by supporting you and keeping the vocal up front. That's pretty much a perfect arrangement.

Emotional lyrics, achingly sung.

Excellent.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Hi Deej,
That's a very good folk song.
And as usual, Your voice carries this song with so much sensitivity.
You're the best singer I know!

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My what a beautiful song Deej...this is such a gorgeous melody and a lyrical masterpiece...if I heard Ed Sheeran singing this I would have no trouble believing that he wrote it...it has that kind of feeling and quality...your unique vocals are always raw and real and perfect for these forlorn love songs...man this is good!...an acoustic guitar and cello and I'm in for sure... Bravo!


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Really nicely done.

I really like the chorus.

One thing I didn't like.... the extra measure between the verse and the chorus..... don't wait.... get to the good stuff faster.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Deej,

A Strong Write.
Emotional Vocal.
Nice backing.
Good mix.

Nice.

fj

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Great song theme as well.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#17: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#69: Bring consciousness to it.
#74: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#105: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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Deej,
Minimalism suits the emotional quality of your voice.
ACE.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Deej,

Very emotional!
As Marty says, perfect lyrics and perfectly simple presentation which shows that this song is just perfect the way you wrote it.
This song is certainly written to highlight your singing ability.
Minimalism suits the emotional quality of your voice, as rayc says.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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We like it. Janice wanted to single out these two sections as “just lovely!”

“You could be every note
That I would ever sing
You could be my falling star
You could be my everything”

“And still you pull my heart
With the mischief in your smile
While every breath’s a stop and start
Every inch a mile”

You sound great with just a guitar and then when the cello enters it gets even better. We felt like we were in the same room with you.

What a gem of a sweet, sad song!

J&B

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BD, Dewey, Vic, Marty, Bob, Noel, DC Ron, Mario, Ezekiel, David, Chris, Dan, Herb, Floyd, WaoBand, Ray, Shigeki, and J&B:

Thank you all very much for the listens and kind feedback. I’m glad the simple production worked and it comes off well as is.

Best wishes to you all,

Deej

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