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#752333 02/04/23 10:53 AM
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Title: Abused (a silent cry)

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inoxuBo1MLM

This is probably the saddest song I have ever written and will ever write, it is about one of my best friends who, in her thirties, began to seek professional help because she didn't understand why she was self-harming, cutting herself and biting her arms and doing all these nasty things.

The uncomfortable truth was that she had been abused as a child but had always repressed those memories.
We talked a lot about this, and this song is about what I felt then and still feel.
Unfortunately, unlike most of my other songs, it's not fictional.

I thought for a long time about whether or not to publish this song because it might open up old wounds in people who have
experienced the same thing.
But I think it's better to talk about things than to hide them.

The usual unsolicited information:
  • for my taste the song is a bit slow, but if I change the BPM just a bit from 96 to 102 the song doesn't work anymore
  • the images were created with Stable Diffusion AI
  • even though I'm the writer (which means I've probably heard the song a million times) it still makes me sad to listen to the song
  • I would have LOVED if she would have sung this song, because she is a singer and has a beautiful voice (similar to Tracy Chapman)
    but she is no longer with us frown

Special thanks to Marty for proofreading the lyrics and his thoughts on what they might also mean.
And to David Cuny for a different perspective on the meaning of the song and lots of lyrical suggestions.
You guys rule!

Some technical information:
Style: _TEARS.STY

The band:
Drums: MarkTreeFills, SkaSlow70sWesPerc, PopCountry16ths
Bass: 518, 572, 2474 (all re-amped)
Piano: 1406
Guitars: 3435, 3731, 3738
Strings and Synths: 1543 + yours truly

Vocals: Natalie with BG vocals from Solaria and Cong.

You can find the lyrics in the next post.

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Title: Abused (a silent cry)

Verse 1:
There's a spider crawling down your mind
weaving a web around your memories
to hide the things your innocent soul can not deal with
and lock them away from a life that will never, never be the same again

Chorus 1:
I can see the broken soul
behind those empty eyes.
On your arms the burning scars
they will never go away.
No medicine can heal these wounds
in a soul that slowly dies inside without a cry

Verse 2:
The memories still frighten you like a shadow in the night
haunting you with visions of the past you cannot fight.
The pain it cuts so deep, it's like a thousand knives
and every time you try to run away, it follows you.
There's no escape from yourself

Chorus 2:
I can see the broken soul
behind those empty eyes.
On your arms the burning scars
they will never go away.
No medicine can heal these wounds
in a soul that slowly dies inside without a cry

Outro:
I can see the broken soul
behind those broken eyes

Last edited by B.D.Thomas; 02/04/23 10:55 AM. Reason: Lyrics added
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BD, I agree, this is the saddest song I've heard from you and perhaps in this showcase.

Musically and lyrically very well done and although this story tears one's heart out, I do agree, it must be told and confronted.

What came to my mind when listening to this is the sick pedophile priests that the catholic church is dealing with/covering up. Although this has been going on for centuries it's still a timely message.

All I can hope for is that your friend is now in the most blissful place imagineable and that there is a special cellar in Hell for those priests and others that cause, condone, overlook, deny and coverup this kind of unspeakable damage.

May God bless all those that are yet suffering with this worse than animalistic abuse.

Last edited by Bass Thumper; 02/04/23 02:19 PM.

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Hi, B.D.

I agree about being able to talk about things. The stigma associated with abuse and mental illness compounds the injury and makes it harder to seek help and support.

Excellent write, really nice job with the vocals and arrangement. Love the sound through my headphones.


-- David Cuny

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Hi B.D.,

Wow, what a powerful, powerful song!

Just an outstanding write, and the vocals sound excellent.

My new favorite from you I think, really well done.

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Originally Posted By: Bass Thumper
BD, I agree, this is the saddest song I've heard from you and perhaps in this showcase.

Musically and lyrically very well done and although this story tears one's heart out, I do agree, it must be told and confronted.

What came to my mind when listening to this is the sick pedophile priests that the catholic church is dealing with/covering up. Although this has been going on for centuries it's still a timely message.

All I can hope for is that your friend is now in the most blissful place imagineable and that there is a special cellar in Hell for those priests and others that cause, condone, overlook, deny and coverup this kind of unspeakable damage.

May God bless all those that are yet suffering with this worse than animalistic abuse.

Thanks BT for listening and your feedback, it's really appreciated.

Even though the church was not involved in this case, this is something that no one should ever have to deal with

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Despite your reservations of tempo, theme and such it's really good song.
The melody is very vaguely familiar but goes in unexpected directions.
The arrangement supports the song well.
The synth voices add an emotional detachment that gives a sense of observation or journalism that works.
Good one.
The theme is an appalling one, but one that is all too common a reality.
Yes, there's potential for "triggering" victims or their family but you've clearly labelled the song as a warning - well done on that too.

Last edited by rayc; 02/05/23 10:48 AM.

Cheers
rayc
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You know I really love this one, BD. Reading your post was the first I learned that she is no longer with us. She would be happy with the love this song would bring her. This is such a good write. The lyrics, as you said can be interpreted differently depending on the listener's life experience, but when the reality of your friend is unveiled they can also be a war cry to abolish abuse of all kinds. It's amazing how good you're getting teaching Natalie to sing. Did I ever mention how good the production is?


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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top quality all the way. Very nicely done.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Wonderful song with a meaning.
I love it all.

Vic

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Hi BD,

A wonderful song despite the theme of the lyrics.
I think you did a great job making this song about this problem that is around us.
I just read an article where some of those people, hounted by their own brain asked for euthanasia ('please help me to die'). Heavy stuff!

Your song was by itself wonderful. Natalie sings very, very good, with a nice vibrato in the vocals.
The lyrics went through marrow and bone (as we in the Netherlands say). Do you say the same?

You did a very good job on this song, although I hope you don't have to make an other one...
Hans

PS: the video was very impressing

Last edited by Birchwood; 02/06/23 05:28 AM.

Hans Berkhout
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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Hi, B.D.

I agree about being able to talk about things. The stigma associated with abuse and mental illness compounds the injury and makes it harder to seek help and support.

Excellent write, really nice job with the vocals and arrangement. Love the sound through my headphones.

Thanks for listening (again) and your feedback, David. I'm glad you like the end result.
And of course, thanks for your help during the writing process smile

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B.D.,

An Astoundingly Good lyric. Powerful. Blew me away.

Excellent tracks. Good mix.

This has a kind of Adele-vibe to it. (She could take this to the top of the charts - for a long run)
Natalie sounds good, but at times she is "a bit too even". It is a lyric that deserves to be sung DRIPPING with emotion - I don't think Natalie pulls that off.

Would have like the chorus melody to go to a slightly different place (it has more of a "verse feel" than a "chorus feel".

Don't put too much thought into these "nits". I think this is an INCREDIBLE song.
The lyrics are truly STUNNING.


Truly sorry for the loss of your friend. A tragedy.

fj

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Hi B.D.,

Wow, what a powerful, powerful song!

Just an outstanding write, and the vocals sound excellent.

My new favorite from you I think, really well done.

Thank you for your positive and encouraging words, Dave. I appreciate it very much!

Last edited by B.D.Thomas; 02/07/23 06:25 AM.
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BD, I first read the lyrics and I thought how can you write a song that doesn’t rhyme? Well I guess you showed me how. A powerful message song that brings attention to a problem that too often is overlooked. Great work on the production and I continue to be impressed with your ability to make the singer work so well. All around impressive, Tom

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Originally Posted By: rayc
Despite your reservations of tempo, theme and such it's really good song.
The melody is very vaguely familiar but goes in unexpected directions.
The arrangement supports the song well.
The synth voices add an emotional detachment that gives a sense of observation or journalism that works.
Good one.
The theme is an appalling one, but one that is all too common a reality.
Yes, there's potential for "triggering" victims or their family but you've clearly labelled the song as a warning - well done on that too.

Thanks Ray for your detailed feedback.

To my surprise, it seems to be a bit controversial because after I released the song, it was the first time ever that someone unsubscribed my channel and 'disliked' a video.
Seems I did something right grin

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Haunting...both the song and video...there is no greater tragedy than being abused whether it's self imposed or imposed by others...beautiful song (melodically and lyrically)...the production of the music and video are top-notch...this is tragically beautiful if I may speak paradoxically...thanks!


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Hi B.D.
Very sad background story
But also really brave to have such an emotional song sung by a synthesizer voice
But the vocals sound pretty good all in all
And lyrics don't always have to rhyme to be really good
Your song proves that impressively
Very good work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Nice production Brain.

Thanks for posting.

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B.D., this is a very good song done very well. I appreciate the personal strife you went through being there and hurting with, and for, your friend, putting all those feelings down in music, and the struggle in deciding to publish it. I have had the unfortunate opportunity of interacting with many similar victims in the past, and therefore have enough pictures in my mind already. For that reason I didn't watch the video, just listened to the song. It is very good and I agree with pretty much all Ray has to say above and appreciate the struggle you went through personally in developing and publishing this. Kudos.

Brad

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