PG Music Home Forums General Discussion Off-Topic My Husband Passed

My husband died in April with me by his side. HIs organs shut down as cancer consumed his liver. They had him on heavy drugs. He could no longer move or speak and they told me the last to go would be his hearing. So I stroked his arm and spoke to him of good times, how proud I was of him, for him not to worry that I would be okay and it was okay for him to go. His favorite song was Amazing Grace and Elvis was one of his favs so I played an album off youtube on the phone with the young Elvis singing Gospel songs including Amazing Grace. Then I told him I was going to rest for a little while and kissed him.

I had pulled the little recliner as close as I could get it next to his hospital bed. I'd been sleeping there for the past four days. The next thing I knew nurses were crowded around his bed saying his pupils were fixated and his heart had stopped - he was gone at 2 am. I stayed there with his body for a while, stroked his hair and kissed his head one last time. Then a security guard wheelel me holdling our stuff out into the parking lot. And I drove home in the dark. I could barely feel my feet.

I've been through loss. I've written songs about it. I have never felt like this. The pain has been almost unbearable at times. I cry rivers. Anything can set me off. My emotions don't give a crap what my intellect knows. Giant waves of sorrow find me. It was only one year ago he was diagnosed with cancer. The loneliness without his presence here is beyond words.

The GriefShare groups around here had all ended. I'm in an online 13 week group that goes through the summer. Thank God.

As for what's next, with much trepidation I'm likely moving to Kentucky to live in a room at my best girlfriend's house in the fall. I'll miss our home, all our things, and especially my music room. It's like a multiple whammy of grief on grief.

Meanwhile I try to take care of myself physically since I almost died in December. I'm so thankful he didn't have to go through losing me and facing cancer alone. He was so happy I was home that he made us milkshakes every night while we watched the bowl games.
Four months later he's gone. We were together 47 years. LIfe as I knew it, is over.
I know I lived everyday of it but it seems as if it all went by so fast.

PM's are welcome from those who've lived this or if you just want to say something privately.

I thank you in advance for any and all kind thoughts and prayers sent my way.

The song for this thread - Memories. https://youtu.be/v2WrD_gdWVo

Josie

Your message brought tears to my eyes. I don't know you but I wish I could give you a hug and we could cry together. Please get that hug from someone near to you. I know it will help.

Dan

I feel the same way Josie.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You are in my prayers.

A tragic end to a beautiful love story. Losing a life partner after 47 years of marriage is undoubtedly a challenging and heartbreaking experience. During this difficult time, it's important to remember that you are not alone and that there is support available to you.

Your love story is a testament to the enduring power of love. Over the course of 47 years, you and your husband created a lifetime of cherished memories together. Hold onto those beautiful moments and let them bring you solace and warmth.

Although your husband is no longer physically present, the love you shared will always remain in your heart. Love transcends the boundaries of life and death, and your connection with him will continue to be a part of who you are.

Take time to grieve and honor your husband's memory. It's okay to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to anger to confusion. Allow yourself to experience these feelings, and don't rush the healing process. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself.

Surround yourself with loved ones who can offer support. Friends, family, and community members can provide comfort, companionship, and understanding during this challenging time. Reach out to those who care about you and share your thoughts and feelings with them.

Seek solace in activities or hobbies that bring you joy. Engaging in things you love can provide a sense of peace and distraction from grief. Whether it's spending time in nature, reading, painting, or pursuing any other passion, allow yourself to find moments of happiness amidst the sorrow.

Consider joining a support group or seeking counseling if you find it helpful. Speaking with others who have experienced a similar loss can be immensely comforting. Professionals trained in grief counseling can provide guidance and support as you navigate this new chapter of life.

Remember that it's okay to ask for help. Sometimes, we may feel hesitant to reach out, but allowing others to lend a helping hand can make a significant difference. Whether it's practical assistance or emotional support, don't hesitate to lean on your support network.

Keep your husband's memory alive through storytelling and reminiscing. Share stories and memories with family and friends, as it can help you preserve the legacy of your love and keep his spirit alive.

Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Grief can take a toll on our well-being, so prioritize self-care. Get enough rest, eat nourishing food, and engage in activities that promote healing and relaxation.

Know that it's okay to find happiness and peace again in the future. Although the pain may seem overwhelming now, with time, you will find moments of lightness and joy. Allow yourself to embrace those moments and know that your husband would want you to continue living a fulfilling life.

Please remember that these are just words, and the healing process is unique for each person. It's essential to be patient with yourself and seek additional support when needed.

God bless you, Josie Beck, and just know all your PG friends grieve with you.

Sorry for your loss Josie.

I know that in time your treasured memories of your many years together will start to ease the pain a little.

Thinking of you here.

I'm so sorry for your loss Josie.
Surround yourself with loved ones, keep those memories alive and take one day at a time.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless.

Dearest Josie,

I am lost for words.

Thinking of you today and reminded of one of our songs from so many years ago…

Here in the quiet hours
Where the wind cries in the rain
When the sound of every raindrop
Is as subtle as a train
Here in the times of freedom
Where the dreamer has the power
It’s here that I dream you
Here in the quiet hours

Here in the quiet hours
Where the night becomes a haven
When I give in to the silence
For the thoughts that I’d been saving
Here could be a mystery
Where the garden has no flowers
It’s you who is on my mind
Here in the quiet hours

Here in the quiet hours
Where the clock dial lights the room
When the phone rings at 3am
And it’s just a voice from the moon
Here are all my reasons
Where I climb the highest towers
It’s a wonder that I miss you
Here in the quiet hours

Here in the quiet hours
Where the sand fills my eyes
When the dreams that I’ve had
Are too real to be realized
Here is where I knew you
Where the night pours down in showers
It’s here that I wait for you
Here in the quiet hours

Josie,
I too am incredibly saddened by your devastating loss, but I hope that having shared your situation with all of your friends on this forum, that this might bring you some relief, and hopefully lessen the grieving that you are rightfully suffering now.
Take care of yourself, you are very important.
Trevor

I never know what to say in times like this, Josie. I feel for you, and am sorry for your loss. I hope the fond memories you have will ease the sorrow.

Notes ♫

So very sorry to hear about your husband, Josie. This is devastating, I know. It will get easier but that doesn't help much right now. You are so strong and kind for being there for him all the way to the end. We should all be so lucky to have someone like you. Take time to grieve. He will always be a part of you. Remember the great times, the music, those milkshakes. Take good care of yourself through this incredibly painful time. <3

So very sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine it at your age (so young)
Very much wishing you the best moving forward (and prayers)
Like JJJ said; please take care of yourself (make it a priority) .. we're all pulling for you

Josie,

I never know what to say or do when I encounter such sadness, grief and loss.

You are strong. I'm confident you will survive to live through this most dreadful experience.

Find someone to talk to and fill their ears with stories of both the good and bad experiences of the last 47 years. Contact his friends, family and co-workers. They don't know what to say or how to approach you. But sharing past experiences help the healing process.

My condolences Josie. I hope everything in your coming days comes as smooth as possible and that you'll be able to keep in touch with us here.

Hi, Josie.

I'm sorry for your loss, and you're in my prayers.

I wish there were more that could be done to ease you through this process of pain and grieving.

I want to thank you. Every kind word and your thoughts and prayers mean more than you know. It's weird how surreal it can still feel at times. The grief counseling group is helping. I have minutes sometimes hours - I haven't made it a whole day or night yet without tears. Knowing y'all care helps. God bless you
Josie

Dear Josie sorry to hear about your husband, I will be praying for you, reading your post. Broke my heart it was a genuine love story. God bless you my hope is he will place people in your life that will love on you and ease the pain your feeling. my sweet Helene is always on my mind September 28th will be 2 years since she passed take care of your self you will be in my prayers Eric

My heart goes out to you... God bless you.

Sorry for your loss.
Hope this is helpful.

We are so sorry to hear this and wish you continued strength to help you through this.
The obvious love both of you shared will provide you with years of wonderful memories that sadly many couples have never experienced. Nothing breaks a bond like that.

Love,

J&B

My heart goes out to you Josie. Praying for strength and solace to help you through these times.

Charlie