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Very creative work once again! Always interesting and never disappointing, whatever the style, the outcome is something I enjoy, maybe it is the influence of the 80's music that attracts me, your music is probably closest to my musical taste smile
I really like the introspective lyrics. The chord progression is perfect for the mood, the disco beat fits well.
That killer chorus grows on every listen, Ray's bass line and those backing vocals, wow. Great guitar selection, especially that solo guitar. And on top of all that one of the best voices on this forum. Excellent song.

Janne


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Some classic DJ.

I am glad you got Ray in on this.

Lyrics are awesome and your vocals sound great.

Nice band!

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Top quality songwriting and performance. Definitely hit material. My new favorite Deej song, but that keeps happening, doesn't it.

Love the BGVs. Yes, that is a popping bass line.

All I else I can say is wow!

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David C., J&B, Who, James, Chad, Vic, Janne, David S., and Ezekiel:

Thank you all for the listens and comments. So much appreciated and glad it all seemed to hand together. A couple of responses to the comments:

Wao: Sorry you’re relating to these lyrics—I guess not a particularly great place to be in. They weren’t written from personal experience, but I empathize nonetheless. Hope it all works out!

James: How many songs do we hear that “grow” on us? I take that as a good thing, and glad you stuck it out for a few listens. You give me too much credit it on the write . . . just stumbled on the chorus and a few lines . . . and wrote it from there. Yeah, a different sound for me . . . but that what keeps my interest.

Chad: I think you may be right . . . I tend to have my lead vocal a bit more out front (often to a fault), but knocking them down here a decibel or two here might be the right ways to go.

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Deej,

Your vocals sit comfortably on top of the 8-beat rhythm of the electric guitar.
It's driving beautifully.
You are truly a super vocalist.
The slightly twisted chord progression of C - Em - Bb - F is wonderful.
Ray's bass is also great.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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I have listened to this multiple times - my thoughts are below. I recognise the time, effort and talent you have put into this. Sorry if you feel any of the negative comments are harsh or unjustified. Thanks a lot for posting the song.
Date: 16/12/2023
System: Headphones
--------------------------------------------------
Genre Pop
Key C
Duration 4 30
Overall impression
Nice groove
Clear message
After 5 listens, still enjoying this one quite a lot and – in contrast to nearly every song I hear – I’m quite confident that I will still be recalling parts of it (notably the chorus) tomorrow.
All in all – congratulations on this piece Deej! There’s a good reason for all these positive comments above!
Song (musical structure, melody, lyric, …)
Some seriously good rhymes here (suspicion / wishin etc.)
Unusual but effective chord progression in chorus section
Instrumentation
Like the wall of guitars – they generate a very solid platform for the song.
Vocals
Like the indie inspired vocals - good use of phrasing
Not sure that the harms contribute that much to be honest
Mix / Production
Nicely put together – vox sit well over the music tracks
What I really liked
Pre-chorus – these are just great when done right!
What could be improved
Comes in too long for my tastes. If its catchy enough, its long enough. Flowers comes in at 3:10 and that streamed 100m times in 7 days!!
I would have dispensed with either the bridge or gtr solo – probably the latter. Could quite easily lose the entire outro section at 4:10.
Had it been me I would have reserved the pay off line “But I still do” for the very last repetition of the chorus, which would have the advantage of maintaining tension in the lyric.
Maybe a couple of chords too many in the bridge section at 2:28, but this is a minor point.

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Hello Deej and Ray
Very successful song
Sounds damn good
Very good mix and a great collaboration
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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Shigeki, Marc and Andi:

Thanks for the listens and feedback—glad you enjoyed.

Marc: appreciate the really detailed comments. Very helpful. I didn’t really focus on the length of the song during production and was a bit surprised in the end. That said, not sure there’s much I would cut, but I did contemplate a stop ending on”But I still do” rather than the fade, which would have shortened it a tad. If I were forced to cut more it would be the guitar solo—like the bridge too much to let it go.

Stay well all.

Deej

Last edited by Deej56; 12/21/23 09:33 AM.
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Excellent tune Deej. Very cool groove. Backtrack was excellent as well. Super vocal. Ray's bass lines really locked in the groove. Well done.


Scott Collingwood
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Hi Deej,

[Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]

From writing to arranging to performing to production, this is spectacular.
You've created a really excellent song.
And you're right, Ray's bass really makes the song come alive. You and he have done a brilliant job.
Singing over the solo is a touch of arranging genius. I loved it.

All the very best,
--Noel


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Scott and Noel:

Thanks so, so much for the listen and supportive feedback. Glad you enjoyed!

Hope all is well in your worlds,

Deej

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Back for another listen...great work Deej, excellent tone sculpting on the bass too.


Cheers
rayc
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