This time of year is most often used for some self-reflection; what you had planned and how it turned out. I thought, what if God did that too (assuming we think God exists, of course). So I made a song about that situation. It is not really a Christmas song, although, looking at all things hapening...
I also made a video (one of the two I ever did, so I'm very excited what you think of it. The link to YouTube:
I made the song some years earlier, but I changed a lot of it and did a total remix. It must sound well now Let me know what you think.
Technical issues =========================== Style is _DANCE2U.STY (Dance To You Soulful Dance Rock), Key: E, tempo 100 Bpm
RealTracks in style: 2615:Bass, Electric, FunkPumpingQuarters Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 1404:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Soul70sWarmA-B Ev16 100 RealTracks in style: 2905:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm BrightBluesyPopColin Ev 100 RealTracks in song: 4165:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RockNewWave80sPowerChOverdriveMute Ev 120 Loop in Song: Chillout\Chillout - autumn_82_flute_e_minor .wav RealTracks in song: 3351:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm SwampyBluesBrent Ev 095 RealDrums in style:Disco and metal drums [Multi] And some sounds inserted in Logic Pro Me: vocals
Lyrics Lost (c) HWBerkhout, dec 2020/dec, 2023
V If you had seen me, I was smiling I had created you! If you had heard me, I was cheering; You lived on my earth too V My whole heart was beating for you 'cause I loved humanity Only my commandments you soon forgot That was really hard to see for a God
Chorus I thought the earth would be a stunning place to live a happy life Where harmony would be in the air and peace was everywhere
V Now my heart skipped some beats Because nothing went so well All I ever asked is misled by false preachers of heaven and hell
Chorus I thought the earth would be a stunning place to live a happy life Where harmony would be in the air, Instead you created despair
V If you can hear me, you can change it I hope I can give you some signs But I see more anger and frustration Those were no goals of mine V If you believe me, you can change it Still I don't see your signs I only see more fear and disillusions Not the goals of mine V If you see me, you must change it But I fear there isn't much time I see more greed, wars and stupidity Not the goals of mine
Chorus I thought the earth would be a stunning place to live a happy life Where harmony would be in the air and peace everywhere
So I think you got it now I've lost, I've lost...
Thanks and a very happy Christmas and New Year, Hans
Last edited by Birchwood; 12/19/2301:40 AM. Reason: YouTube link adjusted
Your music is always original, interesting, and well done. Like Mario, I have a different view than your lyric portrays. But that's okay. Your talent shines through. The arrangement is killer, as is the production. You are a man loaded with talent. I admire your recording skills.
Hans, enjoyed your tune! Nice arrangement, harmonic movement and choice of instruments. REALLY like your vocals and the entire mix is super smooth. The musical ending was cool, too. Interesting lyrical excursion, think you accomplished your intent. Well done!
DC Ron BiaB Audiophile Presonus Studio One ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM Presonus Faderport 16 Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
Cool video! God told me herself that she sees plenty of harmony in the air --right there in your wonderful song.
I really like the composition. Lyrics as only you could produce, and vocals that soar from a golden throat, harmony to please the gods. Cool progression too, and I like how you accent the 3rd and 4th bets occasionally.
And, of course, the ending is the cat's meow.
Enjoy whatever happens! marty
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51 SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 11, EZDrummer
Thanks a lot for listening to this song, despite the difference of opinion on the subject. It's not a problem that we disagree, it's a problem if we can't deal with it. And we know we can...
Originally Posted by MarioD
Hans, good song Good vocal and mix Although I do not agree with your lyrics I still think this is a good song.
Thanks for your so nice words about the song. It doesn't matter if we can't share the same feelings about the lyrics, although, a good conversation with a glass of (red) wine can create bridges...
Originally Posted by Al-David
Hi Hans,
Your music is always original, interesting, and well done. Like Mario, I have a different view than your lyric portrays. But that's okay. Your talent shines through. The arrangement is killer, as is the production. You are a man loaded with talent. I admire your recording skills.
I skipped some commentators to answer you first. Otherwise it would stay in my head forever... And Ron, Bob, Dave, Marty and BD, I come back to you. So, don't get mad at me. First I must answer you, David:
Originally Posted by dcuny
Hi, Hans.
Nice idea, and well executed. There are a number of phrases that sound a bit "off" in English, but they work fine. My only comment is really about the end - it doesn't quite fit for me. The line in the verse:
If you see me, you must change it implies there's time, but it then jumps right to:
So I think you got it now I've lost, I've lost
I understand the point, but I'd expected something along the lines of "Well, I guess this must be what people want paradise to be."
Nice work on the video, but it's a bit too literal for my taste. But that's just me.
At first, thanks a lot for your comment, your thoughts and thorough research on the lyrics. I agree that there was a 'bit off word' in the first chorus ('to live a happy life'). I said 'and' instead of 'a'. I noticed it after publication and decided to leave it in. If you've heard more odd words, let me know.
About that line "if you see me, you have to change it" you wrote from there, I drew that conclusion he has lost. But I don't think that's the case. If you take a look at the structure of the lyrics you see that from that first chorus, God becomes more and more frustrated with what is happening with or by his creations ("not the goals of mine") He tried to receive hopeful signals from humanity, but received nothing. Instead, he noticed that no one is doing anything and that things are actually getting worse... As a result, he comes to the conclusion that, with all his wonderful plans and intentions for the Earth and humanity, he has lost it. That is that bridge you said you were missing.
And as for the video: it was my first, although it still has to be done well. I do think that it is always a matter of taste how you make songs, videos, etc. Since the song is about something delicate (religion), I thought I would make this video in literal steps to avoid sensitive mistakes. Although I am not religious at all, I am pretending in this song that there is a God (!), but that he is certainly not happy with what he sees. I wouldn't be either...
I love this groove and the way that you used it. I tip my proverbial hat to you. You've created a really fine song.
Writing a lyric where God is in first person really grabs a listener's attention.
I sympathise with your lyrics. When I look around the world and see so much greed, so many people recklessly hating and hurting other people, and ecological environments everywhere collapsing because of mankind's impact on nature, it's very easy to wonder, "Where is God?"
You've told a really good story and you've done it with musical expertise
Although you disagree with my lyrics, still you watched the video or listened to the song. That must have been a challenge! I appreciate you did it.
Originally Posted by MarioD
Hans, good song Good vocal and mix Although I do not agree with your lyrics I still think this is a good song.
I don't want to start a discussion on the lyrics. They are what they are. But I will explain a bit: I mainly made them because I am concerned about what is happening nowadays. And I thought it would be a nice idea to use another perspective. Although I know it can be a sensitive angle.
Hi Hans, Your music is always original, interesting, and well done. Like Mario, I have a different view than your lyric portrays. But that's okay. Your talent shines through. The arrangement is killer, as is the production. You are a man loaded with talent. I admire your recording skills.
Take care, Alan
Thank you for all the beautiful words you wrote about me! I appreciate you listened to my song, despite your problems with the content of the lyrics. As I wrote to Mario, I will explain why I wrote them this way: I am concerned about what is happening nowadays. I made quite a few song about that topic, as you know. I wanted to avoid becoming a caricature of that messenger (the one with long gray hair and a sign above his head that said "the world is ending"). You certainly know that drawing... That's why I changed that angle in this song.
Hans, enjoyed your tune! Nice arrangement, harmonic movement and choice of instruments. REALLY like your vocals and the entire mix is super smooth. The musical ending was cool, too. Interesting lyrical excursion, think you accomplished your intent. Well done!
Hi Ron, thanks for those beautiful and encouraging words! I only think I haven't excactly accomplished my intent, I'm afraid...
With a cool funky rhythm and your strong vocals nothing can go wrong Interesting angle, I can recall only couple of songs from this point of view. You have told the idea well, I can feel God's desperation. Naybe I have added 'please help me' line in the end, although I think Eden is still a stunning place, hopefully humans will never get back there to ruin it too...
Thanks for the cats in the video, are they yours? Every video should have at least one cat Happy holidays and very creative new year 2024!
I was just speaking with God a few minutes ago and He told me to tell you how much He loves you and He's giving you a big hug from afar.
He said He listened to your song and He's sorry that you're so down in the dumps here at Christmas time, but that he loves you anyway and knows that you're one heck of a nice guy.
He said He's just sending some super hugs from heaven and hoping that you have a very very Merry wonderful and fantastic Christmas with your family and that one day He'll see you soon and He'll give you a big old fat kiss on the cheek and just tell you how much he loves you, and He will have His big Godly arms wrapped around you, and can't wait till you can come visit him in heaven, cuz you're one heck of a guy.
Also He said to tell you to cheer up a little bit and go have a beer or something cuz it's not that bad.
He said beer is proof that God loves you and wants you to be happy.
Happy holidays!!
David Snyder Songwriter/Renaissance Man Studio + Fingers
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Happy holidays and very creative new year 2024!
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