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#825825 10/15/24 09:03 PM
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Hello Folks,
as with many of you, I have a couple or three irons in the fire at present. None is ready for presentation but most are on the right path to get there. THIS song, however, isn't anywhere near it.
Post Vicarn's accurate observations, (mainly due to the vocals being low in the mix because they're shocking and there for not much high end cutting through the mix), I've worked on and raised the vocals a little more & dumped the bvox as they complicated the isuue. I'd still rather have another voice doing it but here's the 3rd edition:
UPDATED UPDATE
UPDATED[color:#6600CC][/color]
As a result of exceedingly generous feedback I've done some vocal retracking, some, actually LOTS & LOTS of noise reduction, sibilant surgery & plosive pulling, have moved the thing on a little bit further:
Version 2
Orig. Version
BASS THING
BIAB provided the platform to build this & helped me in the DAW thanks to the "plugin" which keeps me on track via the chord sheet.
DRUMS are RockHard^16
ORGAN is 4253
PIANO rhythm is 1798 &
PIANO solo parts via 4481 JazzFast.
I added bass & guitars.
The problem is the vocal - on this it's me and it's dreadful but, at this point in time, I've been unable to con, err convince, someone to sing it for me.
The name is, due to the fact that the verse bass line was the basis of an old, slow blues rock number sort of like something from Led Zep 1 or II but that fell over very quickly.
I upped the tempo from 60 to 170 and started again.
Sonically, & thematically, the thing could be thought of as a pastiche of one of my favourite bands from the late 70s and through the 80s. I don't think the chops are good enough to claim pastiche so, perhaps, sloppy distant echo might work.

Your thoughts, suggestions, criticisms and appraisal are sort.

The Lyrics:

Bass Thing

V1 A whirlwind romance of sorts,
I couldn't believe my luck.
Two rooms up three flights
All we had in a rented truck.

PC1 Part wanderlust part wondering,
Part stupidity & fear.
I'd give you the shirt off my back
But we'd just end up back here

C1 The windows still need cleaning
I can't see through the pane.
I've lost all my deposit
'Cos I can't go back again.

V2 You balked, all I did was talk.
When I talk, I'm not listening
I'm the sort, not caught short,
A full glass at the christening. .

PC2 Part wanderlust part wondering,
Part stupidity & fear.
You'd hide when my mood was black
Kept up a cheap veneer

C2 The windows still need cleaning
I can't see through the pane.
I've lost all my deposit
'Cos I can't go back again.

solo
V3 A quote for each occasion,
I choke when words are real.
You hoped for better days,
My stink the kitchen sink concealed

PC3 Part wanderlust part wondering,
Part stupidity & fear.
My face was blank, I walked the plank
You became the mutineer.

C3 The windows don't need cleaning
But I can't see through the pain.
I've lost all my deposit
'Cos she won't come back again.

Last edited by rayc; 10/19/24 06:47 PM.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
rayc #825840 10/16/24 02:15 AM
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Gee, Ray. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I LOVE your vocals. Remind me a smidge of Eric Goulden; I wore the grooves off of Big Smash back in the day. May not have heard your vocals before, or maybe not this style of singing. But I think it works and can't imagine someone else singing it.

Not sure of your specific band reference, but this backing does indeed remind me of several bands of that (very fine IMHO) musical era. Love that piano solo.

Restarted this one two more times when I got to the end. Something about it (maybe nostalgia) really appeals to me.

So if you're looking for criticism, I have none, except maybe adding some presence to the vocals in the mix.


DC Ron
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rayc #825842 10/16/24 02:34 AM
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Ray,

This totally works for me as well. I'm with Ron on your vocals - finish processing them and you are done!

Love that piano. Sounds like it's about to go off the rails and then comes right back. Pretty awesome!

Bob

DC Ron #825844 10/16/24 02:47 AM
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Originally Posted by DC Ron
Gee, Ray. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I LOVE your vocals. Remind me a smidge of Eric Goulden; I wore the grooves off of Big Smash back in the day. May not have heard your vocals before, or maybe not this style of singing. But I think it works and can't imagine someone else singing it.
Not sure of your specific band reference, but this backing does indeed remind me of several bands of that (very fine IMHO) musical era. Love that piano solo.
Restarted this one two more times when I got to the end. Something about it (maybe nostalgia) really appeals to me.
So if you're looking for criticism, I have none, except maybe adding some presence to the vocals in the mix.
Thanks DC,
I bought & read Goulden's memoir/biog - it's just like his records. BIG SMASH the double LP is ab fab indeed. The best I've heard him is on the Five Live Stiffs album. His writing is def. an inspiration for this one as is Difford & Tilbrook of Squeeze & one or two others of the era...they all did kitchen sink dramas in short sharp, clever pop songs. I've not seen E.G. but did see Squeeze on their 1st Australian tour in the late 70s- a small, small pub in the far flung south western suburbs...just a couple of miles from my home. It was Jools Holland's 21st birthday that night and they were gloriously ragged from the drink.
Thanks for the kind words...I might try fixing this then..with you suggestion in mind.

Last edited by rayc; 10/16/24 02:51 AM.

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rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
rsdean #825845 10/16/24 02:50 AM
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Originally Posted by rsdean
Ray,
This totally works for me as well. I'm with Ron on your vocals - finish processing them and you are done!
Love that piano. Sounds like it's about to go off the rails and then comes right back. Pretty awesome!
Bob
Thanks Bob,
The rhythm piano and solo piano combo worked out well...definitely teetering upon the edge which appealed to me and does suggest a little of the ramshackle nature of the inspiration.
I'll crack on with the vocal - despite my own reservations.
Again, thanks.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
rayc #825855 10/16/24 04:10 AM
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Doh! I ALMOST said Squeeze. If there's a better song than "Up the Junction" I don't know what it is. Saw them with Elvis in early 1981. Jules had just left and Paul Carrack was with them...

But yeah, you nailed that early Holland-era Squeeze sound.

Last edited by DC Ron; 10/16/24 04:11 AM.

DC Ron
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rayc #825898 10/16/24 03:12 PM
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Yeah, it is a cool tune.....love the vibe!! And the production/musicianship sounds great!! Take care. Greg

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Originally Posted by Greg Johnson
Yeah, it is a cool tune.....love the vibe!! And the production/musicianship sounds great!! Take care. Greg
Thanks Greg.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
rayc #826067 10/18/24 12:05 PM
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Ray, your vocal sounds just fine.
Super instrumentation and lyrics.
I would change a thing.
This sounds great.


It takes courage for a man to admit his wife was wrong.

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rayc #826073 10/18/24 12:24 PM
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Went straight to version 2.
I like it.
There is a shade of Elvis Costello - especially that cool opening. (Sorry if that is a bad reference - I seldom know the bands you refer to - and I dig EC)
A very cohesive sound/band. It works together to create a mesmerizing rhythm.
Cool piano solo. Nice bass and guitar...
I like your vocal (though it could use some "umph" - more attitude)

fj

rayc #826133 10/19/24 05:29 AM
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Hi Ray.
The main problem to my ears is that the vocal sounds muffled and in many parts indiscernible.
Maybe my old ears or needs adjustments with low and mid hi equing.
Everything else works well.

Vic

rayc #826171 10/19/24 02:45 PM
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First of all, that piano makes the song "pop," as the modern saying goes. It feels part of the song and not part of the song at the same time. I like it.
Your vocal sounds fine. It's on key, and that's all I ask for. Although, it seems a little buried. The abrupt ending is cool with those little drop off notes. Bass line is primo.

"The windows still need cleaning
I can't see through the pane." that was pretty darn clever!

MarioD #826189 10/19/24 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by MarioD
Ray, your vocal sounds just fine.
Super instrumentation and lyrics.
I would change a thing.
This sounds great.
Thanks Mario.


Cheers
rayc
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Originally Posted by floyd jane
Went straight to version 2.
I like it.
There is a shade of Elvis Costello - especially that cool opening. (Sorry if that is a bad reference - I seldom know the bands you refer to - and I dig EC)
A very cohesive sound/band. It works together to create a mesmerizing rhythm.
Cool piano solo. Nice bass and guitar...
I like your vocal (though it could use some "umph" - more attitude)
fj
Thanks fj,
I'm an huge E.C. fan - well up to the album North...I don't buy without listening since that one.
"umph" needed indeeded. I can't quite manage that with my tonsils. I did try on v3 in some places.
The guitar parts are actually "re-amped" I D.I.'d them and when Kim wasn't home pushed them through my Marshall amp & cab - fairly clean but even so the amp was LOUD.


Cheers
rayc
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vicarn #826191 10/19/24 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by vicarn
Hi Ray.
The main problem to my ears is that the vocal sounds muffled and in many parts indiscernible.
Maybe my old ears or needs adjustments with low and mid hi equing.
Everything else works well.
Vic
Thanks Vic,
your ears and doing well.
It's all down to me, my voice and the level in the mix.


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rayc
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Originally Posted by Ezekiel's Storm
First of all, that piano makes the song "pop," as the modern saying goes. It feels part of the song and not part of the song at the same time. I like it.
Your vocal sounds fine. It's on key, and that's all I ask for. Although, it seems a little buried. The abrupt ending is cool with those little drop off notes. Bass line is primo.
"The windows still need cleaning
I can't see through the pane." that was pretty darn clever!
Thank you Scott,
I tried to litter the lyric with time based cultural references and similes/metaphors just to keep me interested.


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rayc
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rayc #826218 10/20/24 05:22 AM
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YES! You should hear you as others hear you, Ray. I really like your matter-of-fact delvery. And now I can actually hear it bettter. Maybe the problem isn't the vocal, but the vocalist's acceptance of it. So says Dr. Mart smile. Man, I think you should embrace it and realize how cool it makes your songs --how uniquley standout. [All that said...keep up the good work of "LOTS & LOTS of noise reduction, sibilant surgery & plosive pulling." And, of course, a helathy dose of apathy always helps. ;)]


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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rayc #826219 10/20/24 05:25 AM
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“A whirlwind romance of sorts,
I couldn't believe my luck.
Two rooms up three flights
All we had in a rented truck.”

Well, that grabbed us immediately. Cool write.

Like floyd we got a Costello vibe … and like him it’s our best reference being unfamiliar with all the artists mentioned. smile

We love the piano especially in the choruses.

Your guitar and bass performances are excellent.
Janice’s expression was, “he’s cooking!”

Hopefully the positive responses to your vocal will enable you to reconsider your abilities!

J&B


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Originally Posted by BabuMusic
YES! You should hear you as others hear you, Ray. I really like your matter-of-fact delvery. And now I can actually hear it bettter. Maybe the problem isn't the vocal, but the vocalist's acceptance of it. So says Dr. Mart smile. Man, I think you should embrace it and realize how cool it makes your songs --how uniquley standout. [All that said...keep up the good work of "LOTS & LOTS of noise reduction, sibilant surgery & plosive pulling." And, of course, a helathy dose of apathy always helps. ;)]
Apathy at fever pitch?
Thanks Marty.


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rayc
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Originally Posted by Janice & Bud
“A whirlwind romance of sorts,
I couldn't believe my luck.
Two rooms up three flights
All we had in a rented truck.
Well, that grabbed us immediately. Cool write.
Like floyd we got a Costello vibe … and like him it’s our best reference being unfamiliar with all the artists mentioned. smile
We love the piano especially in the choruses.
Your guitar and bass performances are excellent.
Janice’s expression was, “he’s cooking!”
Hopefully the positive responses to your vocal will enable you to reconsider your abilities!
J&B
Thanks J&B,
you're always kind.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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