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Hi Everyone, Last time I posted 2 songs and one was called "walk with me" but in fact I posted the wrong song which in fact was "walking too fast". So I thought today I would post the one I meant to post last time. Here it is http://www.box.net/shared/5omgevl44mHope you like it. It's my birthday today so be kind with your comments lol. Jim
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Hey Jim, Happy birthday!!!! This song has a brilliant feel about it. I really like the piano accompaniment. It reminded me of Paul McCartney in places. As the song progressed, It seemed to me that your voice became increasingly confident. You've got a good voice and it's really suited to this style of music. At times, the arrangement sounded a little busy to my ears and this sometimes made it difficult for me to understand lyrics. Have you tried simplifying the mix just a tad and seeing how it works? (By the way, I must point out that I'm probably the last person around who should be commenting on mixing because I find mixing incredibly difficult.) Overall, though, this song is very well put together on so many levels. It's definitely a work to be proud of  Keep up the terrific work! All the best, Noel P.S. Hope you have a spectacular birthday.
Last edited by Noel96; 03/14/10 03:28 AM.
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Hi Jim Noel said Quote:
As the song progressed, It seemed to me that your voice became increasingly confident.
I also thought that you got more confident as the song went on.
Here's a little tip - sing/record the song at least 4 times one after the other -
you will be so laid back and confident after that.
I also was looking for a key change or something to bring the song to a different level.
Please don't take offence, this is said with the greatest of respect.
regards
michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2024 1111, Realband 2024
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
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Hi Noel and Michee,
Thank you both for your kind comments - much appreciated.
Noel: You are right the mix was quite busy and I did try to get the lyrics to stand out - of course, I knew the words since I wrote it so it is always good to know how others heard it. A good point about singing confidence.
Michee: A very good tip about singing it 4 times one after the other - I will try that next time. OMG 4 times - I could run out of puss lol. I am not sure about key change with this song but I will give it some thought.
Thank you again for listening
Jim
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Happy birthdayJim!
It's a good song, thanks for sharing it. I agree with most of the above, especially about the mix being busy and kind of obscuring the sentiment of the song.
That is indeed a very Paul McCartney opening chord sequence which set me thinking. I don't think the song needs all the other stuff,e.g. slide guitar. It's a love ballad and for a minute or so is fine with just piano and voice, then for the second verse I'd bring the drums and bass in and a little bit of acoustic guitar strumming. For the last chorus bring in some strings. That's all it needs.
A trick I found with recording vocals is to sort of 'over act' a little and sing into the mic whilst slighly exaggerating the emotion of the lyrics, and then on playback they sound convincing and interesting. Delivering a song is a lot about 'performing' it, i.e. not just letting the words flow out whilst trying to stay in tune, but delivering it as if you really, really mean it. For some reason when I sing 'normally' the playback sounds restrained and weak. I'd try another take and really go for it.
John
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Hi John,
Thanks for listening and I am pleased you liked the song. You made some interesting points and I appreciate your comments. I like the idea of using piano at the beginning and later bring in a little more. I actually composed it using just piano and voice.
Thanks again
Jim
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Hi Jim, first Happy Birthday.
Second this has the makings of a very good song. Great lyrics and vocal!
I so agree with the others about the busy backing tracks. John has some very good suggestions in his message.
What I didn’t like was the distorted rhythm guitar and the guitar riffs between the vocals. They just sounded out of place tone wise. I would replace the rhythm guitar with a nylon string guitar IF you want to keep the rhythm guitar part – I’m not sure this song even needs one. I would replace those guitar rifts with some soft mellow jazz guitar rifts and I would not let the rifts play during the vocals. The lead guitar part was ok, however I would be inclined to have a more mellow sounding guitar, yea I know I’m an old fart, or a B3/piano lead.
Having said that I do think this has the potential to be an outstanding sound in either one of two avenues. The small band concept I described above or a more elaborate orchestral version as suggested by John, i.e. strings and such.
Good work here. Good luck on polishing it up.
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Jim,
HBD! <--(see if you can decipher this cryptic message)
Man, that was reminiscent of the BEATLES! If the real track slide guitar had been a cleaner type of slide (similar to the George Harrison slide he so often used) it would have been even more Beatle-esque. (The high-gain slide guitar always makes me think of ZZ Top, but it seemed to work well here once I reminded myself that it ISN'T the Beatles, it's Jim)
You may or may not have intended to sound like the Beatles, but now that I'm thinking that way I can't stop making comments along those lines . When I think of that group, the first thing that comes to mind is their magnificent vocal harmonies. With that thought in mind, adding a vocal harmony to one part would be consistent with the style. Your song compares easily to HEY JUDE, and I am listening to that song now to hear how harmonies were incorporated. Rather than harmonizing with they lyrics, in that song they went the "oooo-aaaah" route and added white sound in the background.. which would be far easier to do as a post production change than it would be to re-harmonize the vocals.
But the song doesn't need any changes... these are just random ideas because thinking up ideas for other peoples' songs is so easy to do and it doesn't make any work for me.
;-)
As far as the song itself goes, loved it! I can see why you wanted to post that one. I hope you become a regular contributor, and I look forward to hearing your next submission!
(answer to the cryptic message: "Hot Brown Dogs" (not))
;-)
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Hi Mario and Pat,
Mario: Thanks for your good wishes and also your comments. It is very good to have people's ideas and you made some very good suggestions. Yes John made excellent suggestions. I am thinking about making it less busy. Thank you for listening and your suggestions. I am pleased you liked the song.
Pat: You found some interesting connections with Beatles. I had not thought of that. I a very pleased you liked the song Pat. I agree about the possibility of adding some vocal harmony - I am not so good at this but I can practice. I hope to become a regular contributer and I really appreciate people here giving advice and making suggestions. It is goo to have feedback like this.
Jim
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Quote:
Pat: You found some interesting connections with Beatles. I had not thought of that. I a very pleased you liked the song Pat. I agree about the possibility of adding some vocal harmony - I am not so good at this but I can practice. I hope to become a regular contributer and I really appreciate people here giving advice and making suggestions. It is good to have feedback like this.
Jim
I agree that it is an amazing opportunity to hear feedback from people who share your hobby. Trying to make music without feedback is a bit like trying to get ready for a formal occasion without a mirror.
regarding your comment about "not being so good (at harmonies) but you can practice"
We'll reserve judgment on that until we hear some. Your primary vocals were good, so there is no reason to expect that a secondary vocal would not be good too. What the heck.. go for it. What's the worst that can happen?
Regarding my comment previously about the high-gain slide guitar:
Have you ever seen the movie "Ratatouille ?" It's an animated film about a rat that becomes a chef in Paris... Anyway, at one point in the dialogue there is a comment made about great food being built from unexpected combinations of flavor. I think the same is true in music.
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Hi Pat,
Sorry I am late in replying - missed this post somehow.
No I have not seem Ratatouille - maybe I will see it one day.
You are right about vocal harmony - I think I can do this lol. The future could bring new style harmonies.
Thanks for your comments Pat.
Jim
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