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#858990 08/01/25 02:00 AM
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Dance of the Broken

this is the song of a lonely man
everyone knows the words
they've been singing it out since the world began
but it seems like nobody has heard

if you think back
it wasn't that long ago
but remember when we were so cool?
oh, our classmates were under our command
and we had the run of the school

   this is a dance with no partner
   you dance by yourself in the dark
   you can choose to go any direction
   but you still come right back to the start

   this is the dance of the broken
   still waiting for love to come home
   a cry that has yet to be answered
   a dance that is danced all alone

this is the song of the broken heart
everyone knows how it goes
love comes in the spring, but in wintertime
the petals will fall from the rose

wasn't it just only yesterday
that love felt so strong and so true?
now the best days in life are long gone away
i can't believe love is so cruel

   (repeat chorus)


Instruments:
Male Vocal: SynthesizerV (Archie)
Female Vocal: SynthesizerV (Felicia 2)
3546:Bass, Electric, AmericanaSlow12-8SteveAB Sw 040
3088:Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm AmericanaSlow128Mike Sw 040
2874:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm AmericanaGrittySlow128Brent Sw 040
2875:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm AmericanaTremoloSlow128Colin Sw 040
3054:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Folky68Brent Sw 050
2876:Fiddle, Background AmericanaSlow128Andy Sw 040
2171:Mandolin, Soloist Country12-8Andy Sw 065
RealTracks in song: 3086:Organ, Rhythm AmericanaSlow128Mike Sw 040
RealDrums in style:AmericanaSlow128Fred: a: Snare, HiHat b: Snare, Ride


Effects:
Main Buss: Curves AQ, UAD Sound City (room), Hornet ThirtyOneMK2, Lurssen Mastering Console (Americana Loose)
Vocal Buss: Ghz Vulf Compressor (Bus Glue), UAD Capital Chambers (Capital Vocal Main)
Bass: Curves AQ
Drums: Curves AQ, UAD Sound City (Intimate and Round Corner Drums)
Fiddle: Curves AQ, SoundToys Little Plate
El. Gtr: Curves AQ, TrackSpacer (for vocal)
Ac. Gtr: Curves AQ, TrackSpacer (for vocal)
El. Pno: Curves AQ, TrackSpacer (for vocal)
Piano: Curves AQ
Mandolin: Little Plate
Organ: UJAM Finisher Retro (Rotary Verb)

The Story:

Short Version: Any comments welcome!

Edit: I put a strikethrough on changes I made since the first post.

I'd waffled about writing a song for too long, dragging my heels and coming up with some lyrics, but making no progress.

Then I picked up two new SynthV voices - Amara and Archie, so figured I needed to get around to writing a duet for them to justify the money I spent. (Amara got bumped for Felicia).

I found a BiaB song demo I liked - BANDAGE. I'd been intending to do a waltz for a while, and 12/8 is close enough, right? I modified the chords a bit so it wasn't an exact copy. Yes, there are some interesting chord changes, but mostly secondary dominant stuff so it's functional harmony. I then rendered it, and imported the backing track into SynthesizerV to come up with melody and lyrics using the piano roll.

The 12/8 time signature took a bit of work for my old brain to figure out, but I got there eventually.

As I started putting down the notes, I decided to write in lyrics - something I rarely do because I rarely get any song ideas. Since this would have a male and female and singer, the easiest thing to do would be to give the first verse to the male, and the second to the female. And if there's one thing I'm a fan of, it's the easy way. wink

The lyric - "this is the song of a lonely man" - was gender specific, which I figured was going to get me into trouble when I got to the second verse, because "lonely woman" didn't scan the same. Of course, it did.

I also used the line "when we were cruel" (thanks, Elvis Costello), and that also got me into a bit of a pickle trying to come up with something in the second verse that didn't end in "fool". A bit of rewriting and shuffling, and problem solved.

Once the song was pretty much done I noticed that despite the chords being different, the melody of the verses and chorus were awfully similar. Ah, well... I wasn't about to rewrite it. I decided that varying the melody and harmony a bit would made up for that. Feel free to tell me otherwise. wink

I'd done a short bridge and couldn't come up with any lyrics, so I left it with "la"s. Those eventually replaced it with a fiddle part. (I decided to add them back in).

There's a lot of repetition in the lyrics, but I decided not to worry about that at all.

I added automation to the volume envelopes, and kept fiddling with it until it sounded like it had some ebb and flow to it.

Then I listened to the lines over and over, finding lots of places where the melody and counter-line could be improved. There were more than a few places that needed some adjustment.

I was going to re-render the backing in BiaB and add an instrumental fade, but decided it was easier to just to have a simple ending. The final vocal cadence could probably use a bit of adjustment.

I had intended to perhaps put some additional instruments on via MIDI, as I'd gotten some stuff recently. But floyd jane says all you need is BiaB, so who am I to argue?

I probably should have spent more time working on it before posting, but I'm trying to practice getting songs done faster. I'm sure there's something you can find that needs fixing. If nothing else, I should go through the vocals so they singers aren't at the top of their lungs throughout the song. laugh

Edit 1: I worked on the dynamics of the voices, and put back the "la la la" in the bridge.
Edit 2: I added a fade with the vocals, just because I thought it was cool. Again, feel free to disagree.


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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True and cruel. Good match. Your chorus lyrics are quite powerful. Having just watched Daisy Jones and the Six on Netflix, this song sounds like it could have been one of theirs. I like the band...the fiddle sounds great. That note on cruel hurt though. Was that the point?

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David,

This is quite the spectacular production! Love the song and the Synth V vocals are great here.

EXCELLENT!

Bob

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David, very nicely composed and arranged. The band sounds great, and the SynthV vocalists convey the music quite well. Like the intertwining of the two vocal parts, you've got a great ear for those. (Are there slight vocal glitches at 1:48 and 2:58? Maybe?) Your mix sounds open and clear despite the swirl of activity, that's really cool, too. Thanks again for the exhaustive notes, they are very helpful and a lot of fun. smile


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Hi, Beth.

Originally Posted by BYOBand
True and cruel. Good match. Your chorus lyrics are quite powerful. Having just watched Daisy Jones and the Six on Netflix, this song sounds like it could have been one of theirs. I like the band...the fiddle sounds great.
Thanks! smile

Quote
That note on cruel hurt though. Was that the point?
There were a number of points where I could choose between the melody being smooth, or being interesting. You can guess which I chose. laugh

I think the vocal effort and skip add to the dissonance, but it works for my ear, so I left it in.

Thanks for listening and commenting!


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Hi, Bob.

Originally Posted by rsdean
This is quite the spectacular production! Love the song and the Synth V vocals are great here.
Thanks, I appreciate the kind words.

Quote
EXCELLENT!
smile


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Hi, Ron of the DC.

Originally Posted by DC Ron
David, very nicely composed and arranged. The band sounds great, and the SynthV vocalists convey the music quite well. Like the intertwining of the two vocal parts, you've got a great ear for those.
I was probably having way too much fun. At some point, I decided to not worry about matching the original melody, and I think it shows.

Quote
(Are there slight vocal glitches at 1:48 and 2:58? Maybe?)
Maybe, but I'm not hearing them. frown

I'll have another listen later.

Quote
Your mix sounds open and clear despite the swirl of activity, that's really cool, too.
After posting last night, I had another listen this morning and chopped out most of the instruments on the intro, and added the acoustic guitar. I also did a couple more cuts at another point... I think it was the second bridge.

I love the "wall of sound" that you get when everything is playing together, but then go back and wonder "Does this really need to be playing here?" and end up cutting out all these loverly bits.

But I'm happy the mix has some clarity.

Quote
Thanks again for the exhaustive notes, they are very helpful and a lot of fun. smile
I'd actually written half a song's worth of lyrics for something entirely different. And when I started working on the melody, I had something entirely different in mind.

Of course, all that went out the window the minute I started working on it. laugh

I also thought about starting with a string trio on the intro, and fade in the other instruments. That went away pretty quickly, too. But I added a new fade at the end that sort of reflects that idea.

Thanks for stopping to listen and comment - I appreciate it!


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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The song has great lyrics and form, but although it's down to personal taste I think it would work better with very different instrumentation.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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David, loved the courage to work in 12/8..I wondered with the first few notes what type of rhythm you were working with, so I think that bit of curiosity is a really good hook to lead the listener in. What impressed me most was the dual-vocal harmonies you created--they really outlined some interesting chord variations and movement--fantastic work there. I'm glad you took the fiddle out and kept the la-la's in--my opinion is that, despite how it might seem, the fiddle RT's are too reflective of bluegrass or celtic and often distract from any other feel. I've said before, I always learn when listening to your work--now you've given me some new concepts to tackle! Great post!


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Very different, and obviously a lot of work went into this piece. Brilliant arrangement!

Only quibble is I find the string squeaks from one of the guitars, especially right at the beginning where there is not a lot of other things going on to mask it, really excessive, it's louder than the actual guitar! I think I might try and tame that a bit.

Excellent!

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Quite the amazing production, David. Strong vocals, and I like the sneaky mandolin, meekly coming in every once in awhile as if he came in the wrong recording session. YES, 12/8 can make a wonderful waltz --as you aptly demonstrate. I recently had a very difficult time charting out 12/9drums in EZDrummer until I figured out the wonky way to do it. I've listened twice so far and sometimes it seems like Felicia 2 steps in front of Archie and hogs the mic. Man, this is really a good song, David. You waffle so well.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Hey,

This is really cool David.

It has some Beatles qualities to it, really nice chord changes with some excellent musicality.

I enjoyed this.

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Hi, Chay.

Originally Posted by WaoBand
The song has great lyrics and form, but although it's down to personal taste I think it would work better with very different instrumentation.
Thanks!

My daughter agrees that the belting is a bit of a contrast with the more folk arrangement, but there are limited options for 12/8 at this speed, so it's going to stay with this arrangement.

I appreciate you stopping to listen and comment. smile


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Hi, Tom.

Originally Posted by Tano Music
David, loved the courage to work in 12/8..I wondered with the first few notes what type of rhythm you were working with, so I think that bit of curiosity is a really good hook to lead the listener in.
Heh... Occasionally I move from the backing to the vocals and wonder what sort of mess I created for myself, but once I got into it, it was fun. I think the main problem was I didn't provided enough contrast between the verse and chorus, but next time I'm in a waltz song, I'll know better. laugh


Quote
What impressed me most was the dual-vocal harmonies you created--they really outlined some interesting chord variations and movement--fantastic work there.
I figure that since I've got synthetic vocalists, I should make them really work hard. wink


Quote
I'm glad you took the fiddle out and kept the la-la's in--my opinion is that, despite how it might seem, the fiddle RT's are too reflective of bluegrass or celtic and often distract from any other feel.
It's not totally gone, but I understand what you're saying. I've said before, I always learn when listening to your work--now you've given me some new concepts to tackle! Great post! [/quote]
Yeah, it's good to learn from my mistakes! laugh

Thanks for the nice comments!

Last edited by dcuny; 08/04/25 08:14 AM.

-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Hi, Dave.

Originally Posted by BlueAttitude
Very different, and obviously a lot of work went into this piece. Brilliant arrangement!
I'm glad you liked it!

Quote
Only quibble is I find the string squeaks from one of the guitars, especially right at the beginning where there is not a lot of other things going on to mask it, really excessive, it's louder than the actual guitar! I think I might try and tame that a bit.
I fixed one egregious bit on the mandolin last night. I'll take care of the rest later this week when I get back in town.

Quote
Excellent!
Thanks! smile


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Hi, Marty.

Originally Posted by BabuMusic
Quite the amazing production, David. Strong vocals, and I like the sneaky mandolin, meekly coming in every once in awhile as if he came in the wrong recording session.
Heh. I did cut the mandolin way down. When I get back later this week and have a listen for squeaky instruments, I'll consider giving him a bit more. wink

Quote
YES, 12/8 can make a wonderful waltz --as you aptly demonstrate. I recently had a very difficult time charting out 12/9drums in EZDrummer until I figured out the wonky way to do it.
I play in 3/4 time all the time, so a simple waltz variant shouldn't have been as hard as it was. It actually got me feeling a bit stupid until I figured the correct time division to show in the SynthV piano roll.

Quote
I've listened twice so far and sometimes it seems like Felicia 2 steps in front of Archie and hogs the mic.
Yeah, I'm, still tweaking the balance a bit. My background singers tend to - as you say - hog the mike.

Quote
Man, this is really a good song, David. You waffle so well.
Heh. Thanks, appreciate it! smile


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Hi, David.

Originally Posted by David Snyder
This is really cool David.
Thanks! smile

Quote
It has some Beatles qualities to it, really nice chord changes with some excellent musicality.
Good ears!

A while back I did a some web searching on Beatle-esque chord progressions and now have a list I've been applying to my songs.

Quote
I enjoyed this.
Thanks, that's the best thing you can say. laugh


-- David Cuny

My virtual singer development blog
Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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Despite the Synth V voices, this is an instantly recognizable dcuny tune, lovely chord progression and the sense of melody reveal the master behind them :)Melancholy lyrics work really well, "love comes in the spring, but in wintertime/the petals will fall from the rose" ...nice. The duet sounds natural and professionally built. I like Archie's voice, fitting nicely with this type of a ballad. Lalas are a unique flavor to this musical soup. There's something reminding me of Crowded House.

Interesting instrumentation, the organ sounds nice and the fiddle & mandolin add delight. The outro is cool as you said. A voice glitch at 3:03, but otherwise very smooth pop song.

Janne


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David, very creative! Those synth voices sound so real, brilliant work on that. It must have been a chore getting those synth voices to work in 12/8. The backing band is fantastic, perfect for your vocals. A super mix also, that also must have been hard.
Great song - loved it.


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Your songs are always so well constructed. Loved this piece. Excellent vocals and lyric.. Backtrack was super. Well done..


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