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#867859 11/12/25 03:00 AM
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Hello.
I built the chord progression first, and then the guitar melody came naturally. Playing with two guitars, I created variations on the theme. The song itself came later, and I placed it in the middle.
The lyrics are subtitled in the video.

Style : _VENTURI.STY (Venturi Retro Soul-Rock Fusion)
RealTracks dans ce style Style: 4730:Organ, Bass SoulJazzFastFunkLH Ev 130
RealTracks dans ce style Style: 4729:Organ, Rhythm SoulJazzFastFunkRHComping Ev 130
RealTracks dans ce style Style: 1770:Guitare, Electrique, Rythme Jazz Funk Movin Accords DblCrch Bin 130
RealDrums [dans ce Style:Soul60sEv^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride
Electric guitar 1 & 2 Tonex BT MKV
E Piano Dark V Audiolounge
Voices Synthesizer V Kevin Amara( Choir)
Mixed in Cubase

Comments are welcome.
Laurent

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Hi Laurent,

Very nice work on the guitars, great tone and feel. I like the melody you came up with and especially like the harmonies.

The synth vocals are not bad, although some of the phrasing didn't sound natural.

Overall a lovely song, enjoyed. Nice job on the video too!

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Laurent: very engaging track! I really enjoyed the melody and chord structure. I think using Maj7 chords in any rock track catches the attention--pleasantly unexpected.
Regarding the lyric, I really wish you had written/sung in French. The English sentiment is excellent, but the emphasis on the wrong syllables, esp at the end of lines, is awkward to the listening ear. I wonder if, done in your native language, it would come off as smoother and more natural--this song is worth the effort to do just that! I think the essence of the SynthV voices were good, but the pronounciation is the problem.
Otherwise, high-quality work, and it gave me some inspirational ideas for future work.


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Laurent, a super tune.
Nice guitar work.
Good mix
I'm not sold on that synth voice though. I just doesn't sound natural to me. Since I don't own or work with synth voices I can not offer any suggestions on how to improve it.
This is a very good song but with a better vocal it would be an outstanding song. Note that this is just my opinion and others may or may not agree.


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Laurent,

Very nice song. Great mix and overall production.

Bob

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Nice. Cool to be a subscriber with notifications. I was able to listen to this moments after you uploaded it. I was quite blwon away then, but saved my second listen for now. Those 2 guitars are very very good good. I like the progression and the melody. It's weird hearing the Ai sing bet-ter rather than bedder. My favorite part is what you did with the guitar variations. They sound so good. The video is very good too. Love this, Laurent.


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Originally Posted by BlueAttitude
Hi Laurent,

Very nice work on the guitars, great tone and feel. I like the melody you came up with and especially like the harmonies.

The synth vocals are not bad, although some of the phrasing didn't sound natural.

Overall a lovely song, enjoyed. Nice job on the video too!

Thanks Dave for the comments
Laurent

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Originally Posted by Tano Music
Laurent: very engaging track! I really enjoyed the melody and chord structure. I think using Maj7 chords in any rock track catches the attention--pleasantly unexpected.
Regarding the lyric, I really wish you had written/sung in French. The English sentiment is excellent, but the emphasis on the wrong syllables, esp at the end of lines, is awkward to the listening ear. I wonder if, done in your native language, it would come off as smoother and more natural--this song is worth the effort to do just that! I think the essence of the SynthV voices were good, but the pronounciation is the problem.
Otherwise, high-quality work, and it gave me some inspirational ideas for future work.

For me, it's better to write the lyrics first and then adapt the notes; I think it's more harmonious. Secondly, the vocal range: on this track, it was a bit wide, and only Kevin could sing it, but it wasn't very good in the lower register and seemed better in the middle or higher ranges. Thirdly, writing songs in English when you're French is sometimes problematic because you miss pronunciations or sentence structures. We'll try to improve, and that's what criticism is for.
Laurent

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Beautiful guitar work, I particularly like the parts where the two guitars play harmonies together.
The song is quite relaxing and well produced with y good choice of instruments.
As far as the vocals are concerned, the voice you have chosen suits the song very well, but the prosody leaves a little to be desired.
Since I am not a native speaker either, I know this problem all too well.
There are several free text-to-speech tools (online, and I believe Windows even has one) that can read aloud any lyrics you feed them, giving you a better idea of how a word or entire sentence flows.
Apart from that, I really enjoyed your song [Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]

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Laurent, very cool tune! Once upon a time, this might have fallen into the "smooth jazz" genre, but that term may be dated (like me). Really love the two guitars and the way they trade off then intertwine. It's a great effect. The entire mix is very cohesive and enjoyable to listen to. Appreciating the challenges with English lyrics, this tune would sound great with Al Jarreau-type scat singing by the synth vocalists. Just a thought. Outstanding composition you've got here!


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Laurent,

Really nice guitar work. Melodic.
Nice tracks, Good mix.

fj

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Hi, Laurent.

Pleasant song, excellent guitar work.

Since you're writing in English for an English audience, it's important to pay attention word stress. A tool like the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary will show you word stress if you select the "Show Lexical Stress" option.

Even easier, you can ask an AI to do this for you. After many attempts to refine the prompt, I eventually got this:

Quote
Reformat the given lyrics to display stress using only plain text. Display the lyrics preserving the exact number of words per line and using an extra blank line (double line break) after every line of lyrics.

Apply the following five formatting rules strictly and universally to all words in the lyrics provided:

1. Syllabification and Case: All words must be broken down into their standard English syllables and written entirely in lower-case except for the primary stressed syllable, which is in upper-case. Hyphenate between all syllables for multi-syllable words.

2. Primary Stress Emphasis (Mandatory Full Upper Case): The entire syllable carrying the primary stress, based on standard English pronunciation and the Strict Root Stress Rule, must be set ENTIRELY IN UPPER CASE. This stress marking is mandatory: Every multi-syllable word (i.e., every hyphenated word) must show exactly one syllable fully capitalized to clearly display its primary stress.

3. Strict Root Stress Rule: For any multi-syllable word, the primary stress must always fall on the root or base syllable, regardless of common suffixes or simple structure. This principle is mandatory and must be reflected by the UPPER CASE marking (e.g., BET-ter, FUR-ther, LIT-tle, ELD-ers, PRAY-er, be-COME).

4. Single-Syllable Words (No Stress, No Hyphenation): Any word that consists of only one syllable must be written entirely in lower case and must not be hyphenated, as it cannot be stressed relative to another syllable (e.g., i, am, the, we, a).

5. Line Break Preservation: To ensure that the line structure is preserved when copied and pasted, include an extra blank line (i.e., a double line break) after every line of lyrics.

Original Lyrics to Apply Rules To:

Further, higher.
I feel better.
Further, higher.
I am stronger, faster, longer.
I'm a rider, warmer, brighter.
I'm a dreamer.
I say a little prayer that we become better.
Sister, brother, live in harmony together.
I say a little prayer.
Forgive me my elders.
Mother, father, I didn't know to love others.
More beautiful, stronger. I want to be better.
Start all over again to leave. Take a new train.
I wish I were immortal.
A journey to see eternal forever beyond how charms they come.
Never tire.
I wish I were immortal.
A journey to see no forever beyond a chance they come never.
I wish I were immortal.
A journey the soul.
Forever be young. Have charms they come.
Never tire.

And this is what I got back:

Originally Posted by Gemini
FUR-ther, HI-gher.
i feel BET-ter.
FUR-ther, HI-gher.
i am STRONG-er, FAST-er, LONG-er.
i'm a RI-der, WARM-er, BRIGH-ter.
i'm a DREAM-er.
i say a LIT-tle PRAY-er that we be-COME BET-ter.
SIS-ter, BROTH-er, live in HAR-mo-ny to-GETH-er.
i say a LIT-tle PRAY-er.
for-GIVE me my ELD-ers.
MOTH-er, FATH-er, i DID-n't know to love OTH-ers.
more BEAU-ti-ful, STRONG-er. i want to be BET-ter.
start all O-ver a-GAIN to leave. take a new train.
i wish i were im-MORT-al.
a JOUR-ney to see e-TERN-al for-EVer be-YOND how charms they come.
NEV-er tire.
i wish i were im-MORT-al.
a JOUR-ney to see no for-EVer be-YOND a chance they come NEV-er.
i wish i were im-MORT-al.
a JOUR-ney the soul.
for-EVer be young. have charms they come.
NEV-er tire.

Here are some places I noticed the emphasis doesn't fall on the strong beat, so it sounds wrong:

"Further, higher, I am STRONGer"
"Faster, longer, I'm a RIDer"
"Live in HARmony toGEther"
"ForGIVE me my ELders"
"I wish I were imMORtal"


Changing the duration of the note preceding the emphasized syllable so the accent falls on the downbeat will correct the problem.

Following this rule of placing accents on downbeats will make your songs sound much better to English speakers.


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MarioD #868376 11/18/25 07:46 AM
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Originally Posted by MarioD
Laurent, a super tune.
Nice guitar work.
Good mix
I'm not sold on that synth voice though. I just doesn't sound natural to me. Since I don't own or work with synth voices I can not offer any suggestions on how to improve it.
This is a very good song but with a better vocal it would be an outstanding song. Note that this is just my opinion and others may or may not agree.

Thanks Mario for your always kind comments.
Laurent

rsdean #868377 11/18/25 07:47 AM
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Originally Posted by rsdean
Laurent,

Very nice song. Great mix and overall production.

Bob

Thank you very much, Robert.
Laurent

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Love the long guitar intro. It's a great chord structure and melody and would be way, way better with a real vocalist. What I feel is the key problem with SynthV is that it always fails to get the right intonation on the final word in the lines and I think that's in part because it's primarily designed for Japanese language vocals.


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Great band and supporting video too.
Those guitars were outstanding ... excellent in chops and tone.

Nice dynamic mix that set up a cool soundstage on our monitors.

Enjoyed it!

J&B


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Originally Posted by BabuMusic
Nice. Cool to be a subscriber with notifications. I was able to listen to this moments after you uploaded it. I was quite blwon away then, but saved my second listen for now. Those 2 guitars are very very good good. I like the progression and the melody. It's weird hearing the Ai sing bet-ter rather than bedder. My favorite part is what you did with the guitar variations. They sound so good. The video is very good too. Love this, Laurent.

Thanks Mario for your kind comments. Regarding the pronunciation of "better," I checked in The CMU Pronouncing Dictionary, which David Cuny recommends, but it gives the English pronunciation: B EH1 T ER0. I would have been better off sticking with the Synthesizer V's phonetics, which gave "B eh d er" for the phonemes, thus the American pronunciation. The most important thing is to feel bett(dd)er after hearing the song.
Laurent

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Originally Posted by B.D.Thomas
Beautiful guitar work, I particularly like the parts where the two guitars play harmonies together.
The song is quite relaxing and well produced with y good choice of instruments.
As far as the vocals are concerned, the voice you have chosen suits the song very well, but the prosody leaves a little to be desired.
Since I am not a native speaker either, I know this problem all too well.
There are several free text-to-speech tools (online, and I believe Windows even has one) that can read aloud any lyrics you feed them, giving you a better idea of how a word or entire sentence flows.
Apart from that, I really enjoyed your song [Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]

Thank you again so much B.D.Thomas for the comments
Laurent

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Very pretty song Laurent. Well done..


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DC Ron #869404 11/24/25 02:08 AM
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Originally Posted by DC Ron
Laurent, very cool tune! Once upon a time, this might have fallen into the "smooth jazz" genre, but that term may be dated (like me). Really love the two guitars and the way they trade off then intertwine. It's a great effect. The entire mix is very cohesive and enjoyable to listen to. Appreciating the challenges with English lyrics, this tune would sound great with Al Jarreau-type scat singing by the synth vocalists. Just a thought. Outstanding composition you've got here!

Thanks DC Ron for the comments.
Laurent

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