DEVELOPMENT Written in response to a lyric rhyming challenge, the song idea first emerged purely about a person that likes using bullet (dot) points - I am one of those people. Then a few days later, I thought 'What if that man met a woman who didn't think in bullet points, but in free-flowing speech and text?' as sung in the chorus. The idea for the second chorus then emerged with both the bullet point verses sitting alongside the free-flowing chorus, illustrating a couple that are different but respect and cherish those differences. Given the chord progressions for the A verses and the choruses are different, I was pleasantly surprised that the verse melody fitted nicely in the chorus.
I had the section for a solo sitting there for a couple of weeks, then wondered about two bass guitars ‘duelling’ in a solo. I had heard that before and thought it would be something different. I initially mapped out the bass parts using midi bass in Reaper, then tabbed it. When recording the bass parts, I recorded in separate bar lengths: some four bars, some two, and a single bar section – not because I couldn’t play it but because I’m impatient and couldn’t remember the whole thing as one – which is interesting practical aside to the theme of the lyrics. The bass parts weren’t distinct enough (didn’t have enough ‘attack’) so I ended up blending the midi bass with my recorded bass to improve it.
RECORDING SUMMARY Style is _EARLY.STY (Early Morning Folk Rock Push) RealTracks in style: ~683:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesPush Ev 120 RealTracks in style: 3580:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm PalmMuteRockPushFast Ev 130 RealTracks in song: 4519:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking IndieFolkAlt158 Ev 100 (Chorus only) RealTracks in song: 4818:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm SteadyPushMuted ev 110 RealDrums in style:PopRock8ths^04-a:Closed Hat, Sidestick , b:Closed Hat, Snare Midi in song: Instrument 12 Vibes (used for the bullet point sounds) Me: Main vocal – doubled BV ooos x 2 Harmony vocal – Chorus Bass x 2 Bass VSTi SI-Bass (Cakewalk) x 2
LYRICS (Chord sheet attached) VERSE 1
My mind works in bullet points
Also numbered, it anoints my thinking by making it more succinct
Lists are easier than flowing text
Merging one thought into the next sounds harder than each being distinct
VERSE 1B
Sometimes I use dashes instead
What comes from my head can just be recorded
One after the other on the sheet
Asterisks can seem high tech
But they’re just a prostitution of what should be best, despite them
Looking arty and neat
VERSE 2A
Sometimes boxes - small and square
When done, I tick it there, and not left like an orphan
A checked list that’s complete
Makes my mind replete with a tiny yet significant squirt of endorphin
VERSE 2B
A bullet point provides a zone
A point required to stand alone but
Make sense as a collection
Was I born this way, scrawling lists on the side of my bassinette?
I doubt it I had not mastered speech yet
CHORUS 1 Then one day I met a girl who showed her world and it was beauty and passion and sadness and heartache but she wore it so well and with a resolute joy that I forgot all my bullets I was under her spell ‘cos I needed to change and I wanted to love and give her ev’ry thing she needed and wanted and more because she loved me and cherished me and she made me come alive as I hope I did her when I was by her side
BASS SOLO
VERSE 3B
It gave a sense of sequence and order
Like everything’s under control like it oughta now
Words are going out on parole
She came along and challenged my ways, now my
Routines are changed for the rest of my days, I’d do
Anything to be by her side
CHORUS 2 Then one day I met a girl who showed her world and it was
(My mind works in bullet points)
beauty and passion and sadness and heartache but she
(Also numbered, it anoints my thinking)
wore it so well and with a resolute joy that I
(by making it more succinct)
forgot all my bullets I was under her spell ‘cos I
(Lists are easier than flowing text)
needed to change and I wanted to love and give her
(Merging one thought into the next)
ev’ry thing she needed and wanted and more because she
(Sounds harder than each being distinct)
Loved me and cherished me and she made me come alive as I
A fun and clever song. Great vocal as always. I also really like the tracks selections here along with the excellent mix. And some very cool bass lines.
A clever write. Well developed. And well sung. Nice use of BIAB. Cool bass solo/duet. And cool blending of verse and chorus. A lot of work went into this. Well done.
Especially liked the bullet point sound. Very creative! Nice arrangement, instrument choices and playing throughout. The bass duet is stunning, nice innovation. That last chorus is very cool, ALMOST coming off the rails but staying grounded. Super vocals, harmonies and BGVs. ANOTHER shiny pop gem...
I worked the last third of my career in a business where bullet points were essential, and every idea had to be expressed in a one page PowerPoint slide. It was mind numbing, but it did force a real focus on the SO WHAT...
DC Ron BiaB Audiophile Presonus Studio One ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM Presonus Faderport 16 Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
A fun and clever song. Great vocal as always. I also really like the tracks selections here along with the excellent mix. And some very cool bass lines. Nice job!
Thanks Bob! I’m pleasantly surprised about the comments on my vocals - I thought myself that they were slightly unstable on this one - I had problems singing ‘succinct’ and ‘distinct’ - but maybe my instability rhymes? LOL
Originally Posted by vicarn
Clever, amusing lyric. Love the chorus.
Thanks Vic! The lyric was an academic write for me, rather than a heartfelt write, if that makes sense. I have a certain quirkiness in my being, and that has to come out from time-to-time. The chorus is quite simple compared to most of my writing, being just two chords and not much melody movement - this was trying to accentuate the flowing nature of the young lady’s speech and thinking. Thanks for listening!
Originally Posted by floyd jane
A clever write. Well developed. And well sung. Nice use of BIAB. Cool bass solo/duet. And cool blending of verse and chorus. A lot of work went into this. Well done.
And fun from start to finish.
Aw - thank you Floyd! I liked the ideas I had for this one, and the challenge of turning those into a musical form. Early on, I also knew how I was going to post this to the forum, using list point formatting for the verses and combined, flowing text for the chorus. I am glad you liked the bass duet. I’d maybe like it a little clearer, but the dynamics range of the bass was tricky to control. At some stage, I will tinker with this to make it more uniform. Thanks for listening!
Originally Posted by DC Ron
Very cool indeed, Andrew!
Especially liked the bullet point sound. Very creative! Nice arrangement, instrument choices and playing throughout. The bass duet is stunning, nice innovation. That last chorus is very cool, ALMOST coming off the rails but staying grounded. Super vocals, harmonies and BGVs. ANOTHER shiny pop gem...
I worked the last third of my career in a business where bullet points were essential, and every idea had to be expressed in a one page PowerPoint slide. It was mind numbing, but it did force a real focus on the SO WHAT...
Hi Ron! Thanks for noting the bullet point sound via the vibes. I used several devices to emphasise the song theme. I was really happy how the last chorus turned out - the idea came after recording and during arrangement. I simply copied and pasted sections of the verses, then pushed both 15% left and right to give each their own space.
Work-wise, I was an accountant that branched out into general management, and policy writing and training were a big part of my role. It’s where I learned to be a clear, well-structured writer, and bullet points were a tool for that clarity - as were PowerPoint decks. Interesting the similarity in our roles. I don’t miss it though!
Andrew: - I listened - my thoughts - verses - outstanding vocal ----- fabulous lyrics - first chorus ----- brilliant job on the vocal - second chorus -----blending a verse with the chorus was another brilliant move - the backing band was fantastic throughout the song. - great bass solo - super mix - loved it
Last edited by MarioD; 02/17/2606:34 PM.
OK, a random thought; Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
Very clever indeed. I particularly like how you’ve done the verse and chorus in the opposite modes of thinking. And then you’ve cleverly merged the two in Chorus 2. I imagine that either Chorus is very difficult to sing in a single take or live for that matter, it seems like you’d be constantly chasing for a breath. Nevertheless looking forward to giving it a crack at some stage. I think that’s probably the difference between you and me, you think logically point after point, whereas I’m a lazy single thought sort of thinker. The video is also very clever, very enjoyable. Good arrangement as always. I’m not sure about the duelling basses though, but that’s just me.
Hey, Andrew! This one is fun and quirky like a Rivers Cuomo song performed by Weezer, or like the "If I Had a Million Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies. Right now your "Sleigh Ride to the Galaxy" song is on. Oh jeez, this one is heck of fun ride. Love it! You really have a good way with melodies. John
Andrew: - I listened - my thoughts - verses - outstanding vocal ----- fabulous lyrics - first chorus ----- brilliant job on the vocal - second chorus -----blending a verse with the chorus was another brilliant move - the backing band was fantastic throughout the song. - great bass solo - super mix - loved it
Hi Mario! You win the award for best formatted reply! Thanks for listening. Andrew
Very clever indeed. I particularly like how you’ve done the verse and chorus in the opposite modes of thinking. And then you’ve cleverly merged the two in Chorus 2. I imagine that either Chorus is very difficult to sing in a single take or live for that matter, it seems like you’d be constantly chasing for a breath. Nevertheless looking forward to giving it a crack at some stage. I think that’s probably the difference between you and me, you think logically point after point, whereas I’m a lazy single thought sort of thinker. The video is also very clever, very enjoyable. Good arrangement as always. I’m not sure about the duelling basses though, but that’s just me.
Great job.
Hi Lee aka K-Dub Ya! Well spotted. I attempted to record the chorus vocal in one take, but had to punch-in a middle sentence on both main and harmony, albeit in different places. There was a bit of rehearsal to get my breathing right for it - almost. I thought you and I could do the duelling basses when we play it at our next jam? Nah. Regarding differences, that’s what makes the world go around. I know when I click into ‘list mode’, I can hear people say “Let’s just back up there a bit, young Andrew”. Well, they don’t say the ‘young Andrew’ bit anymore. A lot of effort in the video - I don’t want to do that again in a hurry. Andrew
Hey, Andrew! This one is fun and quirky like a Rivers Cuomo song performed by Weezer, or like the "If I Had a Million Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies. Right now your "Sleigh Ride to the Galaxy" song is on. Oh jeez, this one is heck of fun ride. Love it! You really have a good way with melodies. John
Hi John! I am familiar with Barenaked Ladies ‘One week’ (it was massive in Australia) and ‘Big Bang Theory Theme’, but not ‘If I had $1,000,000’ (nice though). They are very clever vocalists with their quick lyrics. If you heard me speak, I am quite a slow speaker which I attribute to a lisp when younger due to a mishap when I bit through my tongue.
I think you credit me with ‘Sleigh ride to the galaxy’ but that song belongs to Jannesan - but it is a great song!
Very clever idea for a song! And some very clever lyrics, for example how on earth did you come up with "a tiny yet significant squirt of endorphin" ?! Great stuff!
Vocal sounds good, I especially like the BGV "ooooos". Love the chorus!
I agree with all those above me. This is a fun song and really cleverly written. It must have taken ages to put together. Loved the vocal. The whole presentation reminded me of Tim Minchin. The bridge was excellent, but I'm still scratching my head about how you managed to sing so many words with minimal breathing space. Good selection of tracks and an excellent mix. The bass solo was well done!
Andrew, you've just shown me the power of 'Breaking the Mold'. John Lennon influenced? I don't know, just something about it!
Fact is, I'm gonna use that as the title of my new song, ... "Breaking The Mold!" Thank you Andrew, for the inspiration!! I really enjoyed what I'll call your "Chaotic Soundscape! "! That's it for now, I got a new song to write!
Last edited by Drew Barnes; 02/18/2605:43 PM.
I am a Vancouver, BC Canada based singer/songwriter, and have performed in clubs, pubs, and coffeehouses around Vancouver for decades. My years working in the infamous Granville Street Entertainment District have provided me much songwriting inspiration.
Very clever idea for a song! And some very clever lyrics, for example how on earth did you come up with "a tiny yet significant squirt of endorphin" ?! Great stuff! Vocal sounds good, I especially like the BGV "ooooos". Love the chorus! Bass solo sounds good too. Nice one, enjoyed.
Hi Dave! Thanks for the good feedback! A few years back, I became aware of endorphins, synapses, dopamine etc. and realised that one of the reasons why I liked using check boxes on my to-do lists was that I had a super-busy job and needed a range of techniques to keep on top of my workload. Their use gave me an opportunity to tick the box or cross it off the list, giving me a sense of accomplishment. I quickly came to realise this was a chemical reaction, so ‘a release of endorphins’ entered my vocabulary. When I wrote that line for this song, the relationship between a check box and endorphins was historically embedded. I needed a rhyme so ‘orphan’ was the unchecked box left hanging there. Thanks for listening! Andrew
Very clever, Andrew! You put a lot of work and thought into this, and the payoff was worth it!
Thanks Rob! A few weeks back, I posted in the Songwriting forum asking how people got ideas for lyrics. Historically, this has been the hardest part for me - music nearly always comes first for me. Within a few days of pondering, I had this idea about a man that uses bullet points and thinks that way (that’s me). I learned many years ago to use several devices to expand on an idea:
what is the opposite of the idea?
what is it with and without?
is there a time dimension to the idea - past, present or future?
do Kipling’s helpers help? Who, what, when, where, why, how.
So the idea of a love interest that didn’t use bullet points came to me, then later, the two merging together.
Lyric writing for me is lateral thinking, hard work, and sometimes some ‘join the dots’ writing out of laziness. This idea is probably more novel than cleverness.
For the record, my lovely wife is also a list maker! 😘 Thanks for listening and comments! Andrew
I agree with all those above me. This is a fun song and really cleverly written. It must have taken ages to put together. Loved the vocal. The whole presentation reminded me of Tim Minchin. The bridge was excellent, but I'm still scratching my head about how you managed to sing so many words with minimal breathing space. Good selection of tracks and an excellent mix. The bass solo was well done!
--Noel
Hi Noel! The words took a while because K-Dub Ya (formerly Knee Wobbler) set a songwriting challenge to think more deeply about lyric writing and rhymes after he had watched a recent ‘How to write songs’ episode on what the experts know about lyric writing (here). Besides the idea of the song, I tried looking for different places to put the rhymes. I’m not sure I truly met the challenge, but pretty happy with the song outcome nonetheless.
I’m not a heavy Tim Minchin listener, but I do like ‘White wine in the sun’.
Regarding singing the chorus, I knew it was going to be daunting, so I rehearsed my breathing several times and took ‘micro-breaths’), but it still wasn’t enough, so I had to punch in a middle section for both my main vocal and my double, but in different places on each track so that there was adequate coverage. Thanks for listening - I appreciate it. Andrew
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