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enjfb Offline OP
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Hi Everyone,
I wrote this song a while ago - a love song

http://www.box.net/shared/zi0oep0m98

The words are:

Verse 1
I met you in the moonlight
With the stars shining bright
It's all clear now - in hindsight
Our love at first sight
You came to me
So wild and free
Cute as can be
Love holds the key
Dancing the night away

Chorus
Any time's the right time for love
There's nothing love can't rise above

Verse 2
We are happy together
The best got better
You're as beautiful as ever
I think you're so clever
You stay with me
Always carefree
Any fool can see
Nothing is free
Living our life away

Chorus

Verse 3
Its hard for you now that I am ill
You make my heart stand still
It's time again to take another pill
I'm here by force of will
I hang in here
So full of cheer
A growing fear
The end is near
I love you more than I can say

Chorus


Verse 4
I met you in the moonlight
With the stars shining bright
It's all clear now - in hindsight
Our love at first sight
You came to me
So wild and free
Cute as can be
Love holds the key
Dancing the night away

Chorus


Hope you like it and any comments much appreciated

Jim

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Jim, all I can say is WOW! This is one fantastic song. I loved the lyrics and your vocal.

I’m not sure about the backing tracks thought. I though is some spots the backing track overpowered the vocal. FWIW I would have used a softer sounding backing track, maybe something like vibes and orchestral strings. Or maybe brought in the instruments one at a time – start with just the guitar then half way into the verse bring in the others. However this is just me, others may not agree.

Regardless what you do to this song, if anything, this is going straight into my keeper folder.

GREAT WORK.


It takes courage for a man to admit his wife was wrong.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Hi Jim,

What a wonderful song.

I can relate to this song as anyone who is getting that little bit older and frailer (is that a word?) would be able to.

I am with Mario here - I think as a love song it may need strings to give it a boost.

Well done

Best regards
michee


Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2024 1111, Realband 2024
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory

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Hi Mario and Michee,
Thank you for your comments and pleased you liked the song. On my speakers voice comes out well in the mix. In fact I lowered the voice volume to fit better in the mix. Interesting comments though. Not sure about strings on this one.
Thanks for listening.

Jim

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Hi Jim

I fully enjoyed the listen and to my really diminished hearing your voice came through just fine. Great lyrics, nice tune but I think it needs some musical intervention to be completed. I love the song - but you need some spots (choruses would be good start) to add additional instruments or vocal harmony . . . something not found in the verses - strings would be a nice touch. This will add musical interest and a change up to keep the listeners attention.

The idea being to slowly build your production towards a climax (maybe last verse all musical elements are added). But this will only happen for the listener if the instrumentation is not the same from beginning to end. That's why I suggested starting to add something different to chorus, or as Mario said to maybe start the song with acoustic (maybe add a waltz fiddle RT through the intro as a lead) with the piano coming in on the first verse - just to give you an idea of what I'm trying to say.

Your song's core is solid, now do what this wonderful software does so well.
Hat's off to you for a good song.

Ian


Ian
My "Original Tunes" Site
My gene pool needs more chlorine.
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Hi Jim,

This is a hauntingly pleasant song to listen to. I enjoyed it. Ian and Mario have some good ideas in relation to developing the arrangement and giving the song added emotional intensity. Overall, though, a big "congratulations" on this one.

All the best,
Noel


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Nice song! Well done. Thanks for sharing!

Listen To My Music
Read My Blog


My Tunes

Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Hi Ian, Noel, PgFantatic,
Thank you for listening and some very useful comments. I am pleased you liked the song. Your comments much appreciated.

Ian: yes some good suggestions and I understand your points which are well made.

Thanks again
Jim

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