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Joined: Dec 2007
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Hi Everyone, Here is a song I wrote called "Suspicious". http://www.box.net/shared/bhn48jz3cvThe words are: Suspicious Verse 1 I came to you from far away I don't regret a single day Free love Stars above It's still the way I feel today You make me laugh and never cry You are all that money can't buy Red sky May fly We let no moment pass us by Chorus Why is there so much sadness A world so full of madness Why does the fighting continue Can love come to the rescue We are simply delicious We're not real but fictitious Day Dream Peaches n cream Oh it sounds too suspicious Verse 2 I came to you from far away I love you more than words can say Ring true Rock you It's been like a holiday You are my angel from above You give me strength with all your love Play along Swan song We fit together like hand in glove Chorus Verse 3 I make you laugh, you never cry I sing to you a tender lullabye Angel face Gentle grace For us on high a beautiful sky You give me such a loving smile You say our love has been so worthwhile Look ahead Enough said We have such a sense of style Chorus I would appreciate any comments you have Jim
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WOW, this is one great song.
Your voice reminds me of Martin Mull. I really like the arrangement here. Super lounge music. Two thumbs up.
This is a keeper.
Principal: Your child always causes trouble in school.
Me: My child causes trouble at home, do I ever call you?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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hello, the lyrics of the song is good, i really like it. the type of your song is just like the songs singing by michael buble.. You have a nice voice too! keep it up! thanks, voucher codesdiscount vouchers
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Hi Mario,
Thank you for listening and pleased you liked it - your comments are much appreciated
Jim
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Hi cutecub,
Thanks for you very nice comments - much appreciated
Best Regards
Jim
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Hi Jim,
Thanks for posting this one. The backing track is excellent and I really enjoyed listening to your piano playing: you're a very talented man! You definitely have a knack for writing catchy tunes.
To my ears, this song sounded like a variation on the AABA form rather than Verse/Chorus form. (I'm a huge fan of AABA.) I have to confess that the chorus threw me. When I heard it, I thought, "Why is there sadness? I've just been hearing how terrific everything is, has been and (potentially) will be." Also, while the lyric writer in me gave a standing ovation to the rhymes "fictitious/delicious/suspicious", the critic in me couldn't understand how this verse fitted in to the overall. Maybe that's me, though. Have you tried whittling the lyrics down to a single theme or thought? AABA is exceptionally good at capturing a single moment in time or single idea.
Overall, though, I enjoyed my journey through your song.
Regards,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Hi Noel,
Thanks for listening and your interesting comments Noel.
For me the theme of the song is a glimpse at perfection from within a world of ugliness and conflict. The verses showing perfection while the chorus depicting reality. There is the hope that aiming for perfection in a more positive way could bring its rewards. It compares optimism with cynicism. The change of mood in the chorus brings surprise to the listener in the hope of encouraging debate. Well that was the aim when I wrote the song - lol.
I like twists and turns in songs but I have written straight forward love songs in the past. I will post one later - I need to remix it a bit.
Thanks again Noel and I am pleased that you enjoyed listening.
Best regards
Jim
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Hi Jim,
Thanks for the explanation. I'm from the school of lyric writing where the chorus or refrain is the home base that all verses and bridge(s) run to. For me, verses usually "show" and choruses "tell" (or summarize).
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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I really enjoyed the overall vibe of the piece, and particularly the interplay between the electric piano and the acoustic piano.
Perhaps the instrumental interlude at 1:20 is a touch long.
I've given up trying to figure out your lyrics Jim, but I just go with them now. They sound fine!
Well done,
Marc
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Hi Marc,
Thanks for listening and I am pleased you liked the song.
Yes, I think 1:20 instrumental is a little long - self indulgence with the piano playing I think. I could reduce it to AB of the AABA form.
Thanks again
Jim
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