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OP
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I just completed this angry rock song - it's a dig at the vacuous fashion industry and all those who promote and feed its silliness. "Slave To Fashion". You can follow the lyrics and peruse technical notes here: My songs site - 'Slave To Fashion'.Play loud and enjoy!  John
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John, This was a lot of fun  Great mix and vocal. I heard a hint of Bowie in this - very nice! Bob
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Journeyman
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John, I loved this! Gratuitous R&R with a message  What's not to love about that. Great use of your RT's. A fine mix & vocals. I think you nailed it!  Good Job, Greg
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Many thanks Bob, Greg, glad you enjoyed it.
No RealTracks were used - the guitar is all me!
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John, this is fantastically outrageously excellent!
Great vox, excellent mix, and outstanding guitar chops accompanied by some of the best lyrics I have heard in a long time! Great idea creating a live environment also.
Two thumbs up
I'm in a fitness protection program. I'm been hiding from exercise.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Great work John.
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Excellent song. Excellent mix and vocals. Thanks for sharing! My Music Reverbnation My Music MyspaceRead My Blog
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Expert
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OK – Like you John I’ll take the subject matter first and then we can turn our full attention to the music. You’re right of course, yet it’s stuff like this that supports, or, at the very least, reflects confidence in our economy. If shoppers did start thumbing their collective noses at fashion trends and ‘must-have’ brands then high street sales would be down, shops would be laying off staff, company profits would be down – and with them stock prices and pension values. And then where would we be?!
Right, my rant’s over too!
This has thoroughly retained the spontaneity and aggression with which you approached the project, and is generally the better for this.
I particularly like the thumping bass which really drives the thing forward.
Love the confident vox which manage to sound both 100% accurate (to my ears) and extremely sincere
Good punchy mix too
First time round, I found the interlude at 2:22 rather aimless, but perhaps this impression changes after a few listens.
Also, given the forceful and direct style of this tune and its message I wonder if the instrumentation may be a little too complex. I really like the original organ patch – the one that comes in during the intro. I may have been inclined to keep only that rather than the other patch that becomes more prominent at around 3:20.
Turning to the lyric..
I wonder if you could have focussed more exclusively on your theme (‘following fashion is silly’) rather than branching out to other thoughts (‘there’s a lot of rubbish on the TV’, ‘what a shame about the poor’…). The effect is to dilute somewhat the power of the message.
In the obvious comparison (dedicated follower of fashion), it’s interesting to note how Ray Davies sticks very closely to his theme. But then again, that’s why he’s Ray Davies and we’re on the PGMusic user’s showcase forum!
Also, with just a little more fine tuning, you could maybe have eliminated some of those ‘nearly’ rhymes of which there are several (magazines / green; Nic's / sick)
e.g.
Designer label on your shirt, you sure it’s not a fake?
Those trainers set you back a bomb cost pennies to make.
..and finally with regard to the lyric, I’ve heard that using specifics rather than generalities, tends to strengthen the message. (I hope Noel will back me up on this!)
You do this really well in refering to a specific department store, but could you also have found, say, a brand of ‘fashionable’ trainer and a trendy magazine title?
Anyway these are minor quibbles, particularly given that you bashed out the lyric fairly quickly.
Overall you can be proud of both the creative idea behind this project and the technical expertise with which you executed it.
Regards,
Marc
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Quote:
....I wonder if you could have focussed more exclusively on your theme (‘following fashion is silly’) rather than branching out to other thoughts (‘there’s a lot of rubbish on the TV’, ‘what a shame about the poor’…). The effect is to dilute somewhat the power of the message.
In the obvious comparison (dedicated follower of fashion), it’s interesting to note how Ray Davies sticks very closely to his theme. But then again, that’s why he’s Ray Davies and we’re on the PGMusic user’s showcase forum!
Also, with just a little more fine tuning, you could maybe have eliminated some of those ‘nearly’ rhymes of which there are several (magazines / green; Nic's / sick)
e.g.
Designer label on your shirt, you sure it’s not a fake?
Those trainers set you back a bomb cost pennies to make.
Regards,
Marc
Thanks for your detailed critique Marc!
Theme focus: I have in fact done this throughout! You’ve just misunderstood some of the lyrics. I didn’t talk about ‘rubbish on TV’. If you look again at the words in the middle eight (not an ‘interlude’ by the way – just an orthodox middle eight!)
“Take a good hard look at yourself, and your little fantasy.
Haute couture and heroin chic like the dummies on your TV...
Is that what you want to be?”
This clearly challenges the gullible person to examine their obsession, and look at the waif-like ‘size zero’ (anorexic?) models and celebrities etc. they see on the TV, and ask themselves: do they really want to be like those people??? (I think it’s appalling how the fashion/celebrity industry leads millions of women, and young girls especially, to develop serious anxieties about their prettiness, size and attire, just to help these industries sell their dream-wares).
I made no comment about the poor. The fashion-obsessed person I am addressing says how the sight of the poor spoils her shopping trip to Harvey Nicholls!
'Nearly' rhymes: Sorry, one hallmark of a quality song is that the rhymes are clever and not clichés like ‘moon’ and ‘June’. I think I’ve come up with some pretty good ones, including the two you mention – magazines/green, Harvey Nics/sick! Sorry!
Regards
John
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Apprentice
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Apprentice
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Posts: 148 |
John
I really like your music. Excellent mixing and mastering work.
Jan
JROM
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Apprentice
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John, Most excellent!
Steve
Steve
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Journeyman
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This is excellent. Really enjoyed this one. Great from almost the top to almost the bottom. I say that because I'll only suggest one thing- if the crowd is canned, can it. Not needed at all. The song stands on it's own. If it's an artistic thing, it's not landing. If you must keep it in there, consider shortening it. Eleven seconds of crowd noise to the downbeat is too long. But the song- top notch!
Dan
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Very nice my friend.... very nice indeed....
Last edited by pbright; 05/07/11 08:29 PM.
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