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I recently updated my BIAB to 2013 for MAC - ultra pac And finally got around to writing and recording a new song with it. "Arrow in My Heart" words and music by Pete Gallatin key- Am tempo -85 4:36 http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12412697Style is KEBMO.STY real tracks used 379 Bass, Electric,Country, double time EV088 381 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm, Syncopated Sugar EV102 382 Guitar, Slide,Background Blues, EV085 378 Guitar Acoustic, strumming, double time EV088 Real Drums - Nashville Pop 16, a-snare high hat b- snare ride tracks were rendered into digital performer 8 vocal recorded into digital performer 8 - w/reverb, compression and eq -mixed and mastered Arrow in My Heart As I am walking down the streets of your city All the faces turn away from me, they turn away in pity 'Cause they see this empty shell of a man whose soul is empty And he seems to have a problem with every breath he is attempting Oh and, Baby, I feel so down Ever since, since you are not around Oh,oh, Nothing seems to be the same And I'm feeling all this pain Feels like. Like an Arrow in my Heart Where everything has been torn apart Like an Arrow in my Heart And I'm falling , falling down And I'm writhing, writhing on the ground With an Arrow in my Heart oh,oh oh oh oh You made your point, but you know I must defend Myself, don't want to go over this and over this again It's two o'clock and we are getting to the part I really dread How can I sleep when you keep on talk talk talking in my head And, Baby, I feel so down Ever since, since you are not around Oh,oh, Nothing seems to be the same And I'm feeling all this pain Feels like. Like an Arrow in my Heart Where everything has been torn apart Like an Arrow in my Heart And I'm falling , falling down And I'm writhing, writhing on the ground With an Arrow in my Heart oh,oh oh oh oh Like an Arrow in my Heart Like an Arrow in my Heart Pete Gallatin 2013
Last edited by PeteG; 07/16/13 09:01 PM.
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Nice set of lyrics, Thanks for sharing!
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Joined: Mar 2013
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Hi Pete,
Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.
One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears.
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Veteran
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Hi Pete,
Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.
One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears. +1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric. Just an observation. Later,
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I like the way you consistently developed the comparison between literally having an arrow in the heart, and its metaphorical equivalent.
the meter varies from verse to verse however, which is a bit disorienting.
----------------
but on a different note: welcome to the world of BIAB 2013! pretty cool, huh?
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Veteran
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Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,503 |
Hi Pete,
Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.
One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears. +1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric. Just an observation. Later, I agree. I really like the lyrics, chord progression and mix but it does sound like you are forcing the vocals. I suspect that you are trying to emphasize the pain one goes through when faced with this situation. Unfortunately I think you may have over done it. However this is just my opinion and other may not agree. Again I really liked the song.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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User Showcase
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 664
Journeyman
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OP
Journeyman
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 664 |
Hi Pete,
Good song!! I like the lyrics and music quite a bit.
One small and hopefully constructive criticism: I think I can see what you're going for in the vocals, but I wonder if it's maybe a bit too much of a good thing... it's striking me as a bit "affected." That's not the word I'm really looking for, but it's the best I've got at the moment. I'm all for pouring as much emotion into our music as possible, but for me personally this one is so much that it doesn't ring true to my ears. +1 here, while I like the song and the vocal I too am hearing (hard to describe) you maybe "pushing" the vocal a bit too much, maybe in an effort to sell the lyric. Just an observation. Later, I agree. I really like the lyrics, chord progression and mix but it does sound like you are forcing the vocals. I suspect that you are trying to emphasize the pain one goes through when faced with this situation. Unfortunately I think you may have over done it. However this is just my opinion and other may not agree. Again I really liked the song. Mario D / Danny C / Blorg I agree with you the vocal is okay at best and as I wrote the song I didn't visualize it as a song I would perform - I was trying to write to that hip hop / alt country groove and with an emotional tone. So I'll be happy to try to incorporate your suggestions in the next incarnations.
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User Showcase
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 664
Journeyman
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OP
Journeyman
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 664 |
I like the way you consistently developed the comparison between literally having an arrow in the heart, and its metaphorical equivalent.
the meter varies from verse to verse however, which is a bit disorienting.
----------------
but on a different note: welcome to the world of BIAB 2013! pretty cool, huh? Thanks for your insights -- and yes I like the new additions to BIAB!
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® users: Build 904 now available!
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