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Dani - You make me laugh! I hope you are well....


Josie - Thanks smile It made sense to me... I "get" the curve - you know that...

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Hi floyd,

If I were Pat Marr, I'd say …

Quote:
Dang, Floyd! Just DANG!

With everything you write, it seems that you use 24 carat gold to gild each and every aspect of your work. When I read through the comments of your songs, it seems that we all agree. You're a one-man, top-notch songwriting and music production team!

When I listened to “Perfect Night” many moons ago, I was very impressed with how you managed to convey sarcasm and irony through the lyrics. That's talent. I know that if I tried to use sarcasm, I'd end up falling in a heap – just like I do whenever I try to use it in the real world!

Back at that first listen, I also noticed that you used a lyric-writing principle that Steve Seskin once made me aware of. In a nutshell, what I'll call 'Steve's Principle' is that the lyrics of a verse or bridge work well when they target one aspect of the chorus.

For example, in your chorus for “Perfect Night”, there are a number of possible targets that could be used. These are ...

  • way that i feel
  • heartache
  • heartache that will never heal
  • rain fall on my face
  • tears i've cried
  • if a man's gonna break down
  • ain't this a perfect night


When I look at the verses to “Perfect Night” from the perspective of Steve's Principle, I see that verse 1 targets the last four lines of the chorus. By the end of the first chorus, it's very clear to the listener that the song's character is stuck with a broken down car on the side of the road in foul weather. Because of the first four lines of the chorus, though, the lyric line, “If ever a man's gonna break down”, becomes a double entendre and refers mostly to the guys physical situation but also hints at his emotional situation. Now THAT'S mighty fine lyric crafting.

Still using Steve's Principle, verse 2 targets the “Carrying around a heartache” aspect of the chorus. Because of this, and because of the setting up done by verse 1, the bells of metaphor chime loud and clear throughout this second song system that consists of verse 2 plus the chorus. The concept of “break down” moves from the physical and plunges headlong into the emotional.

Pondering the above, it makes me wonder what aspect of the chorus you'd target if you wrote a bridge!

What a terrific musical and lyrical journey you've put together with “Perfect Night”.

All the best,
Noel


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Hi Floyd!

If I were Noel96 I'd say...

things that are a lot more interesting and musically wise than what I actually say. wink
But hey.. I agree with him even if I don't fully understand the theory behind all of it!
(Noel, how I ENVY your knowledge!)

Floyd, I just love your songs and your style of writing them... but what I like every bit as much as the songs themselves are the tidbits of insight you sprinkle in with your replies to the forum. You are a one-man music lesson.. and you are kind too! Most times when somebody totally dominates a forum, that person ends up acting like an @$$... but from the beginning you have never been that person. You have consistently encouraged others and played a big part in making this song writing forum one of the few on the web that is just as safe for newbies as for experienced song writers.

My respect for your song writing is huge... but my respect for the way you wield your influence in the forum is even more.

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Hey Floyd

Just wanted to echo what Pat said. This forum is a great resource for aspiring songwriters, and your insights are greatly appreciated. Thanks again for taking the time to share.

Btw - great tune!

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Hi Floyd, its all said, except that I envy you guys whom are able and have the talent to write and sing like this.

Mike B.


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http://www.soundclick.com/blackcatjazzcafeband
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Ain't this a perfect song??!! I don't know what else to say except I wished it were longer. I wasn't ready for the song to be over. I was enjoying it so much. It reminded me of a cross between my father's country music and my sister's Eagle's records. It was not too much of one, just enough of the other, and totally awesome!!

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My goodness! The forum seems to have exploded all of a sudden.
It is great to see so much activity! The last couple of months were a bit slow...

Noel - I was not expecting this one to return, but I always love to read your assessments of a song. And it is gratifying that you always manage to catch the salient points in the writing process that make a song what it is. They are there for a reason - and you understand that - and I appreciate that you do. The aspects of the "set-up" for this song that you point out are often missed - yet are important in creating a song that "works" from beginning to end. The verses pointing to some aspect of the chorus is important. And, changing up that focus in the next chorus or bridge is equally important. So that the song works on more than one level. A one-dimensional song pales in comparison to a song that shifts the focus yet maintains the payoff of the hook or title with each change. The one-dimensional song simply repeats in the 2nd verse what it said in the 1st. A song that "grows" as it goes is obviously a "richer experience" for the listener....

Thanks you for sharing your thoughts on this one.....



And PAT!!!
Man! What a VERY nice thing to say. I am humbled. And, grateful, of course. This forum is a unique, wonderful place with unique, wonderful people. And an AMAZING amount of talent considering how small it is. The quality of writing here surpasses many sites that are geared towards writing. The quality of production is mind-boggling. I do have to say... Noel is the one who taught me (by example) how to conduct yourself on a forum - that everyone has a valid point of view - that everyone has something to offer - that everyone should be given a chance to "show their stuff". To learn, to grow, to shine. No one "knows it all" (regardless of what they may think... smile ). Thank you for the nice words. Your posts are every bit as enjoyable as the best of them... Your perspective on songs and their production are as delightful as our friend Noel's...

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JP (Jeff?) and John -

It's great to have you guys here. I think you both have a lot to offer based on what you have presented so far. There is simply no place like this. The music just keeps getting better and better all the time. And thanks for the kind words...

Y'all pull up a chair and "set a spell" (and..uh..grab a guitar...)


Mike - it is always nice to have you drop by... I know this (country stuff) is not your cup of tea... I do appreciate it...

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Floyd,
Sounds great. Excellent lyric and melody, beautifully performed, the mix is superb.

SD

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Floyd,

I listened to this a while back. I've dropped by from time to time...lots of new music. Good song, RT selection, and production, big, wide sound. Sweet vocals.


My stuff:
https://soundcloud.com/scott-h-olson
https://www.youtube.com/@ScottHOlson

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Hi Floyd,

Another great song....I've read the other comments...so my only suggestion is to bring up your lead vocal....to me it doesn't stand out in front enough....

Like the thunder and rain in the end....

Horst


Horst Hartung

Windows 10 - RealBand 2020:Build(3); Xtra Styles PAKs 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8; 64 bit Intel Xeon CPU E5-1620 v3 @ 3.50GHz; 4 TB HD; 550 GB SSD PCIe Drive, 16GB Memory. Behringer UFX1604 Digital Mixer.

Music: https://soundcloud.com/horst_hartung
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